Like Toy Soldiers

It's been a long and tiring day..I just got home..and bathed..and turned my computer on..and logged on to blog..You know it's been a tiring day when things like these gets exaggerated! :P Seriously speaking though, it's been a long day..Long but fulfilling day spent at ECP! :)

We (yaling, kenneth and i) met up with jessica and her friends - darren, yili and adrian (not myself obviously!)..While the rest of the guys brought their own equipment - bicycle and roller blades - yaling and i had to rent our bicycles..We as a group went pretty slowly as the guys (darren, yili and jess) weren't pro bladers! That's not to say that they were bad..bad would rear its "ugly head" later..well, soon! Anyway, we moved slowly to bedok jetty where we took a rest and where the afternoon took a drastic turn! darren had been bugging me to blade since we met up at macdonald's and i have been relentless in rejecting his offer..My excuse being that the rest of them could blade and i couldn't (which was a dumb excuse i might add!)..My last few excuses consisted of if kenneth or yaling learnt with me, then i'll go along!..which was not such a bright idea afterall..Since the next thing that happened was, kenneth borrowed darren's blades and started showing his stuff! Which was left with just yaling..So i was thinking, since i myself was slowly being tempted to give it a try, i might as well drag my best bud down with me! :P Wrong move..So it was at the pond at ECP where i had my first feel of roller blading..From the moment we tried on the blades - i borrowed from darren and yaling borrowed from yili - it was pretty clear she could move while i can only struggle! Kaoz..it was pretty hard work at first as i could barely move and there yaling was gliding further and further..But thanks to darren and kenneth especially for being such patient teachers, i could move around better without help, ableit slowly! I shall not describe a particularly "obscene" but amusing moment where darren was attempting to lead me holding my hands but we both fell - with him on top of me!

With our bicycle rental running out, we had to cut short the lesson and return the bicycles..Which was then darren suggested we rented blades! Gosh, this guy is persistent! So we did (kenneth included!)..After lunch, the guys suggested heading out towards the direction of fort road..I was quite amused cuz i could hardly move from the blade rental shop to mac's..lest all the way to fort road! But it turned out a pretty good idea, as i kind of got more used to blading...okay so along the way, there were a few balancing acts by me..but blading became a little more natural..Okay fine, not that natural but less wobbly! Yaling was really patient, staying by me throughout the whole way and teaching me to get over humps (which wasn't easy with blades!) (thanks bud! -hugs-)..by the end of the session (we didn't reach fort road, incidentally and fortunately for me! :P), my legs were kind of wobbling..But i must say it had been a great experience..and i must show off here, i hardly fell throughout the day (once when i turned around to kaypo about another person's collision and once when i went off the pavement towards the shop!)..Not bad for a first timer eh?

After returning the blades, most of us went our separate ways - kenneth fetched yaling home in his lorry, jess and adrian went in a car and yili and myself went to catch a bus to bedok where we had dinner together with one of her friends..and where yili teased me non-stop about my "ballet-blading"! Gosh, if only i could wring her neck!

So now here i am, after dinner and after a long and tiring day..ready to rest my body..So when are we blading again ar? :P

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... ...addy is currently obsessed with Eminem's "Like Toy Soldiers"..step by step..heart to heart..left right left..we all fall down..like toy soldiers..

Merry Christmas!

Something's bothering me..midnight mass wasn't as enjoyable as it should be..Or at least, it should cheer me up..but it didn't..I should be depressed that i spent most of christmas day alone at home..but i wasn't..Something's bothering me..Problem is..What?

Merry Christmas and may the new year bring new beginnings to all!

S' Wonderful..

Took another half day off today..While yesterday was primarily to rush my assignment, which i hope to pass though which i do think is full of crap but which i hope to still pass anyway..A distinction isn't too bad now will it? -blinks-

Went shopping today..Realised last night that i had finally ran out of my trusty forever friends christmas cards..A reason to go shopping and make full use of my accidental half day leave..But besides shopping, i had to buy a bank draft for my final semester in monash..Oh god, it feels good to say that! -ahems- my FINAL semester in monash! Coool..Now all i have to do is pass my modules..Shouldn't be too much of a problem right? :P Christmas cards -tick-, bank draft -tick-..oh yeah..and i also went about preparing well..more like "repairing" ling's birthday present..haha..Didn't realise it was this fun repairing what was supposed to be a perfectly wonderful present..Now i do think it's going to be even more perfectly wonderful! All in all a good day..but not too good for my nets card though -frownz- Oh well..All in the mood of the festive season!

Speaking of which, i feel bad because i only remembered today..4 days later..that it was jessica's birthday..That felt sucky..I thought it was bad that i only remembered jasmin's birthday on the day itself but this is far worse..Hai..I hope it's not part of the "growing old" process..

On a brighter note..remember i was mentioning about the fraudster in my previous entry? Well, i sent out complaints to ebay and paypal and the guy actually refunded me my money! Wow..haha..Being a complain king has its benefits ya know! :P Anyway, it shows just how insincere this guy is..3 weeks later and he offers me a refund because of a negative feedback and a complain..It just shows that he obviously hasn't and had no intentions to send my cd to me anyway! Oh well..all's well that ends well!

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... ...addy is currently obsessed with Diana Krall's "S'Wonderful"..duh! :P

just cuz you feel it.. doesn't mean it's there..

Have you been cheated before? Let me just relate a recent bad personal experience i encountered on eBay..I purchased a cd for what i thought was at a reasonable price..Made my payment immediately..Two days later, the seller emailed me requesting for an extra $6 postage fee..I was quite disturbed by that but since i've already won the item and paid up the original amount, it didn't make sense not to pay him though it would have added up to a ridiculous amount for a second-hand cd..Anyway, it's now been 3 weeks, 2 emails and 1 message through ebay since i've paid this guy and i haven't gotten a response nor the cd..You cannot imagine how pissed off i am..

But the point is..after this incident, i tend to practise caution with auction items i bid for..Here are some pointers:

1. Before bidding, check the sellers past history. And by that i mean REALLY going through all the feedback especially the negative and neutral ones. The fraudulent seller i encountered had a feedback rating of 600 plus and yet such an incident happened. On closer investigation today, i realise that he has used this trick many times before..But what gave him such a high rating is that, not only does he make such affairs less frequent, the people who got conned just gave him a neutral rating..Meaning no one will notice it if they didn't go through the feedback properly!

2.Make sure that the fees for overseas shipping is indicated. If it isn't, ask and clarify before bidding..It is easy for a seller to just quote you an over-the-top postage only for it to be half of what is really necessary.

But despite this unsavoury incident, i still think that places like ebay and yahoo are great places to shop around..Besides stuff you cannot find easily in shops, some of the prices are really quite alright, just have to be careful, that's all! Christmas is around the corner..Happy Shopping!

P.S. don't worry miss ling, your prez is not from the auctions! :P

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... ...addy is currently obsessed with the Coldplay, Radiohead and Diana Krall..

Right on track

12th December 2004, i spent the whole day in camp doing a tiresome duty..but on the other hand, it was not as tiresome as it should be..Not because it was suddenly enjoyable, no..Instead, it's because one year from that date..I'll walk away from this job for good! Freedom never smelled closer..The expectancy of something new and exciting happening..Yet the threat of confusion and unemployment looms..It all comes in a package i suppose..but i'm ready to face the challenge..In one year's time!

That said, another piece of the puzzle fell into place today..Finally got my semester two results back after a two weeks' delay! Got two credits (62 and 63) for my two subjects..which wasn't too bad considering that my assignments were just so-so this last semester..Anyway, the main thing is that it maintains my grades above my target of 60 and keeps me on track to graduate next year!

On a more solemn note, my good friend failed one of his modules by two marks..I helped him write a letter of appeal..Hopefully they will consider his case and let him clear the subject so we can graduate together!

For now, it's time to turn my attention to the job at hand, which is assignment 1 for the module i'm taking this semester "Human Resource Management"..Another step forward..two more semesters and four more subjects to go! Stay by me yeah? Cheers!

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... ...addy is currently obsessed with the new U2 album - How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb.

Something out of nothing

Wrote this yesterday morning..Kind of came out after blogging about it the previous day, which explains some of the familiar lines..

now here is my life, here is my pain
passing my days without sun nor rain
ticking clock, tick, ten seconds later tock
my mind seems dead, maybe just clogged
the dirty orangey fluorescent lights
a faint glow in this neverending night
i fight, i retaliate, i cannot lose
even if i lose my pride, and get bruised
this battle i will not give up, just push on
victory is in sight now, i'll hold on
to whatever little i have, i'll keep safe
to whatever heart there is left, i'll be brave
i take a breath, air ventilated with mold
reminisces of years circulating within this hell hole
not long now, i close my eyes and count to ten
the end is near, i can feel it in my hands
not long now, soon i'll be free
of these god forsaken chains, to be who i need to be

addy 07 dec 2004

To keep up with my current ORD mood, i did up a a whole's schedule pinpointing the public holidays, my exam dates, potential off days and i've come to the conclusion that, it's still a bladdy long way to go! Oh gosh..another thing i did which i wished i didn't do so afterwards! Oh well, no need for regrets..It does feel nice to see the bright yellow highlighted words flashing out at the end of the year "ORD" though!

On a personal note, in response to a blog i just read..I would like to say that you do not need to be a Christian to believe in the magic of Christmas..Just as you do not need to be Chinese to celebrate Chinese New Year or a Singaporean to celebrate National Day..Bear in mind this, as long as there are people who believe, there's a spirit that we all can share in..And the magic of Christmas is, it's recognised as a time for giving and sharing..Life need not always be lived logically..If you apply logic to everything, then you are in for a long miserable experience in life..As for the commercial value of Christmas, it is the same as saying that there's no point in Christmas just because you're not a Christian..It's all superficial..Just remember, it may not make your own day and you may not believe in it..But if you can make someone else's day better by wishing them "Merry Christmas", will you keep happiness to yourself just because of your pride and your disbelief? As a parting note, think about it this way, take a day important to yourself, for example your birthday or an important graduation, others may not find that same day as important as you do..But wouldn't it be nice if someone dropped an sms or give you a phone call to send you his or her regards? My point is..Don't always make a difference to yourself, make a difference in your friends' lives so that they will in turn make a difference in yours!

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... ...addy is currently obsessed with the new Band Aid 20 song "Do They Know It's Christmas?" (featuring Bono, Chris Martin, Robbie Williams, Dido, Joss Stone, Busted, Sugababes, Feeder, Snow Patrol, Fran Healy (from Travis), Justin Hawkes (from The Darkness), Will Young, The Thrills and many more!) - Please buy the original CD single ($10 at gramaphone or hmv) and feed the children of Africa! More info on the artists and the mission of Band Aid on the website..

A little moral fibre for dinner anyone?

Every first monday of the month, i go back to my changi workplace to attend "Safety Day"..Sounds lame? Well, it is! Then again, working for the past 5 years in here, nothing can be that lame anymore..Anyway, on "Safety Day", we are supposed to stop all work, talk safety, discuss where other people went wrong and basically do nothing..Majority of the time is spent on the last mentioned programme! But my point is not to discuss "Safety Day" with you, not that there is a lot to talk about even..Being back at changi reminds me of all the times i've spent working there for the past few years..All the familiar faces, people whom i got along with so well..I feel begrudged sometimes for being posted to somewhere i never wanted to go..Somewhere where the air is different (whatever little air there is in that god-forsaken place!), where the people don't connect on the same wavelength (not that they are bad and all, just feel an invisible barrier..) and where i feel strangled of my freedom and life..Everyday i come back home and i ask myself "What have i done today?"..Nothing registers to mind mainly because that's what i have done that day, everyday since i've been posted there! You can say, "Bring your books to read" or "Study a bit" or "Write your poems"..and i will tell you "Take it from me, in such an environment..it is not very possible!" Just imagine you're stuck in a big classroom with 10 people, all the windows and doors are closed, there's no sunlight, the only light is coming from a few dim dirty orangey fluorescent tubes and the aircon smells of reminisces of poor ventilation of past years..Now imagine you being in there for 1 hour, much less a day and you'll understand a little how i've felt the past few months..And that is why, in a way, i look forward to every "Safety Day", that time of month for a little release from my cell..

I still feel resentful that it's me who made the trip to hell so to speak..but when i think again..Sometimes, rather me than people whom i appreciate as colleagues and friends..Maybe no one will ever see it as a sacrifice or a friendly gesture..Afterall, it was kind of forced onto me, but seeing things this way makes me feel better somehow..I go through this shit everyday just so that none of my other friends have to go through this on their own..Nowadays, i go to work and get into my zombie-mode..yes yes yes nod nod nod..It passes better this way, not knowing what i've been through that day..Wasting my life you say? All i can say in my defense is it's better not knowing you're wasting time which you cannot really improve on..than to know that you're been doing nothing productive during that time and feel guilty afterwards..

So if i ever complain to you that i feel pissed off and depressed in that place..just remind me gently "You did it for your friends Adrian, you did it for the people you love.."

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... ...addy is currently obsessed with the new Band Aid 20 song "Do They Know It's Christmas?" (featuring Bono, Chris Martin, Robbie Williams, Dido, Joss Stone, Busted, Sugababes, Feeder, Snow Patrol, Fran Healy (from Travis), Justin Hawkes (from The Darkness), Will Young, The Thrills and many more!) - Please buy the original CD single ($10 at gramaphone or hmv) and feed the children of Africa! More info on the artists and the mission of Band Aid on the website..

Simply Incredible

I hope i didn't give away anything with such a title..but it's pretty obvious isn't it? Urm..right? Gosh..you ARE really slow today aren't you? =P

Anyway, went to watch The Incredibles with alex and my brother last night (just like the good old times eh?)..As the show at suntec was fully booked, we went over to beach road to catch the show..What a different just one stretch of road makes i must say! Suntec fully booked and there we were, having the whole theatre to choose our three seats from at beach road! Dined at Creation (my friend highly recommends it!) - an italian cafe -, for $13.90, we got a main course, soup, drink and dessert (which was a brownie with an ice-cream on top)..My brother who was at first skeptical about spending so much money at the beginning was totally satisfied as well as full by the end of the meal..So if you guys are into italian cuisine, forget Pasta Fresca, go to Creation at Shaw Towers at beach road! It's in between burger king and the food court.

Back to the show, the incredibles are a family of super heroes who..what's that you say? You know that part already? Oh..yes..right..Well, since you guys pretty much know the storyline already, i'll just say that i thoroughly enjoyed the show..Besides all the usual good versus evil plot, all the characters are thoroughly enjoyable to watch..From mr incredible to his family to his superhero fashion designer friend, edna mode to the nameless old lady who wanted to make an insurance claim! Definitely a show for all ages..and plus, there's no unnecessary distraction of a crappy love storyline like in "Shark Tale"..Overall, i'd give it 4.5 out of 5 for it's superb animation, consistent storyline and it's feelgood factor..Go catch it!

Today morning, my flight had a cohesion day at sentosa..We had an impromptu beach football session, volleyball, captain's ball and kite making..Wah, haven't felt so relaxed in a long while..Plus my team won the volleyball contest which was pretty cool in itself though the competition was crap! =P It was a good workout and the weather was terrific to us..Had a great time viewing all the bikini babes and of course the scenery! A little disappointed at the lack of sun though..but no complains..Can't wait to go back again! Invitations anyone?

W-Blog

After surfing through a few friends' blogs, i realise that nowadays blogs are becoming more and more sophisticated..Why sophisticated? While blogs are (or were) meant to be some sort of online journal or diary, most of them have totally lost their purpose..Gone are the commentaries and the recollection of events that happened in that day or week..In comes all the whiiiiiiiniing! Oh my goodness, is life that bad that nearly every post in a single blog is a complaint? Or do we never know when is enough? And if the whining and complaining is not enough, blogs have suddenly become bomb sites and wish-lists! "i think she's a bitch", "i think he sucks", "i want this..i want that", "I just bought this..I just bought that" and then after that it's back to your regular dosage of "How life has treated me worse than it has treated all of you!" What happened to thoughts, emotions and feelings? Or philosophies or analysis? Or have blogs just become the new age aunt agony-cum-dart board-cum-santa claus? If my blog ever EVER become as insightful as a centerfold advertisement..please please please..give me a slap cuz i probably dozed off and my life wasn't much fun in my dreams..

a rush of blood to the head

i attended this time management class today..at first with skepticism but at the end of the class, i was quite nourished by what i had heard..besides time management, tina macdowell, the lecturer gave us an insight into career-paths and financial investments..because of the class, i'm now quite determined to attempt to plot out a possible career path instead of sitting around and waiting for next year! oh by the way, tina is not a eurasian..on the contrary, she's a chinese married to a canadian and whose english was peppered with grammatical errors! but it was a brilliant class nonetheless!

speaking of the class, i blushed again in front of an audience! argh! what's up with that! i turn bright red too easily..when i bought a g-string for karen (yes i did that!), i blushed when asking the salesgirl about the sizes..when i met a friend outside with the ling, i blushed..then today, when tina posed an interview question, i blushed when the class all stopped and stared! i am not exactly fair but yet people can tell when i turn red and that is not good..is it? must be too much blood in my system, maybe i should start donating some..hmm..

me..myself..I am still young!

another birthday passes..the funny thing about birthday greetings is that, the people you least expect to wish you, do and those that you dearly want to hear from somehow don't even leave a word..is it really how we have become? i know i've been guilty of it myself..

anyway i would like to thank personally those who have made my day extra special..in order of appearance, my aunt lilian (who wished me one day in advance!), karen and kenneth (who somehow managed sms within a minute of each other and a minute before 25th i might add!), yaling (the official FIRST birthday greeter!) -hugs- what else do you expect from your good bud eh? heh.., jasmin (my darling-est nuer), celia (a good friend since poly), wong (anyone needs insurance should go to him..getting older but golder!), shiqin (aka angel..of "hard knocks" i might add!), meilay (who never ceases to surprise!), raymond (my ever reliable mate!), jessica (my darling-est little sis..thanks for the great lunch, though i paid for myself! =P her company is always enjoyable..), rebecca (another nuer..though we didn't talk much, it was nice studying together =)), jingxian (second year running eh? let's see how long more your memory can last you! hehe..) and gabriel (my best football mate!)..others fitted in between with cards as well so thanks also to my parents, my brother and "brother" (alex!), my aunt edna (who despite staying in london never fails to remember my birthday! cheers!) and karen (she must get more mention than others else i'll get my neck wringed!)..thanks goes also to my colleagues may and chunchyi (though he has the worst of tastes!), my bro (who always seem not to care when he really does) as well as karen (again!) for the presents!

to those who forgot..it's no problem..i'll most probably conveniently forget yours next year as well! =P

so quater of a century (not a decade, ms ling!) passed..how do i feel? take a look at the photos below and maybe you'll get the picture..





quite obviously still needing to grow up a little bit more! =P

cheers!

remember the times..an open birthday card for my superpunkywunky nuer jasmin

let me begin by once again (for the very last time) say HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL! -hugs- time flies so fast and you're already 19! -gasp- 2 more years and you're going to be 21 like ms ling! for those who are not familiar with our little group..ms ling isn't REALLY ms ling..her surname is actually lee! lee what? you go figure! -winks- i'm really sorry for forgetting to get you a birthday card..have you been opening your mailbox day after day after day expecting it to come? if you have, i'm really really sorry..if you haven't, then it just goes to show that when you don't expect it, it will never happen! =P anyway, since today's your birthday, i thought of taking this opportunity to run through some of the fun times we had throughout our brief but not so brief "relationship"..hope you had as much fun today and here's from me wishing you all the best in everything you do and aspire to do..YOU GO GIRL! -whacks!-



New Year's Eve 1999


Sam's Birthday 2000


My Birthday 2003

reminder..

Lest i forget again and lest she didn't read the previous threads (which is a dangerously high percentage, probability, possibility..), here's wishing my darling daughter 1 day in advance..a HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY! -hugs- I may seem obsessed with her but trust me, i'm not and definitely cannot! =P

pearl of pink..


"caught in a dream spiral.."

this is an old photo i took..cropped it and touched up a little..

blah!

i'm passionate about things..to the extent i become obsessed at times..overemotional other times..and disillusioned sometimes..

i've become too lazy..to the extent i overuse my bed..bum around too much..and even though i want to try lots of things, am just too lazy to..

i think i'm good for nothing sometimes..except maybe having an eye for girl's clothing..they are much more interesting than guy's! all the spaghetti straps, razorbacks, tubes, halters, crossbacks and what not! guy's clothing? simple..tee shirt or shirt..50/50..

i can't wait to get married..and have a home of my own..and have kids (preferably a daughter)..and grow old with the girl i will love all my life..on second thoughts, singlehood is pretty fine itself!

my memory is failing me..i started this blog with something in mind and quite obviously i've drifted a lot..so before i forget the essentials, i shall do the essentials lest i lose a good friend (and/or daughter) and gain a few more bruises on my arms! here's to jasmin two days too early..HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY my dear girl! -hugs-

there! done!

my new phone!..

well almost..my mum came back from her trip on friday evening..england, hongkong, china and back in singapore..or is it england, china, hongkong then singapore? hmm..anyway, she brought back loads of stuff, mostly yummies..but no present! she shopped for karen but not me! gosh..what's the world coming to? and the only thing she offered me as a gift i passed it on to my bro! yah you guessed it, it's the Nokia 6230! gosh..what am i becoming? some raving nincompoop?! (just to sidetrack a little..nincompoop IS a word in the dictionary!) but when i think about it again, i don't need a new handphone..a handphone is just for calling and receiving other people's calls, sms-ing and used as an alarm clock..mine can do all that..I WANT THE NOKIA 6230!!!!

mooncakes are nice..the fact that it's a once-a-year event makes it event more special..just like how durians used to be special until they realised that durians actually dropped throughout the year! so then, i bought a box of "goodwood park hotel homemade" mooncakes, shared with my friends so we could get a discount..two durian and two lotus paste..how can mooncakes made in a hotel be called homemade? shouldn't it be hotelmade or something like that? unless of course it's made in someone's home..but then that's not practical is it? it's not like they're just making a few boxes..unless that person's home is pretty big..or maybe someone actually STAYS in goodwood hotel..well anyway, i brought it home hoping to share with the family..the moment i mentioned mooncake to my dad..he gave me that grumpy look and deadpanned "i don't take it..they are too sweet!" what?! he's psychic or something? he hasn't even tried any and he presumes they are sweet? but that's him and i cannot really be bothered to convince him..which i was kind of glad for cuz in the evening when i started on the durian mooncake i couldn't stop myself..finishing one whole mooncake in the process! it's basically like eating a whole durian minus the shell and the seeds..it is that good! and the best part is, unlike most people out there..i CAN afford such a guilt-filled luxury!

stay together

my colleagues were just talking about couples they know divorcing and staying apart..it kind of got me down..how do people marry "the one they love" and then fall out of love in the next few months? i know we as humans have a tendency to drift but isn't love permanent? i mean, there's always the scandals, the one night stands..i know guys and nowadays, even girls have emotional diversions..but at the end of the day, it's supposed to be back to your rightful partner..right?

so if people cannot stay together..what's the point in love? what's the point in being together in the first place? if people cannot trust each other..who do we trust if even "the one we love" cannot be trusted to be there anytime everytime?

the definite last of the working saturdays!!

today the directives just came out at work..not only are there no more saturdays at work..working hours on fridays have been shorten by half an hour! hmm..makes me wonder what is the catch in this move..but i guess until they expose their "evil motives", i should just enjoy this moment while i can! =P

someone ask me out on saturday!! quick!!!

what a waster..

just got home from the semi-final match..we lost 4-3 on penalties..after drawing 3-3 at fulltime..but considering that the team's initial goal was to just reach the quater-finals, i think we have already outdid ourselves! now let us just enjoy next week's 3rd/4th placing match..sure it is disappointing to lose but this tournament has really build up a nice team spirit among the team..and for that i think we have achieved an incredible victory already! cheers!

the last of the working saturdays!!

if everything goes as planned and as they say..today is my last saturday at work! until i ord that is! cool!

tomorrow's the semi-finals of the church football competition..feeling a little nervous..wish us luck!

grown up up and away..

sure signs that you're a grown up based on the prime minister's speech..

1. you listen out for the planned economic reforms..
2. you groan at the cabinet lineup..
3. you cheer at the promised 5 day week..
4. your imagination goes wild at all the new baby bonuses..
5. you decide to start saving money the next day..inspired..

this proves that i'm still just growing up!!

we are through to the semi-finals! enough said! =)

it's that time of month again..

the church team's quater-final match on sunday got abandoned with 5 minutes left to play..all because 2 gangsters from the opposition team (from new creation church!!) preferred to pick a fight with their fists! we were 2-0 up at that time when the referee - whom i thought lost control of the situation - chose to abandon the match! whether the result will be valid remains to be decided by the competition committee..it'll be a real pity if we were to be kicked out of the competition together with ncc because of this incident! another thing i found totally distasteful and disgraceful about those 2 idiots was that they were representing a church, no less! besides hurling their fists and a whole catalogue of vulgarities, one of them even went as far as to throw his jersey on the floor! i hope IF they ARE from ncc, that the church publicly take them to task! anyway, i hope the committee let the result stand which will see us through to the semis..

today was another torrid day at work..everyday i question myself why why why? why me? why this place? why! i mean, every day since the 1st of july has been bad even when on the outside i seem to smile a lot..but today seem to be one of the worst! i just don't know what hit me..there's just this sinking feeling inside me which i cannot seem to get rid of..even though i've spent the better part of today reading marian keyes' "sushi for beginners" - which is quite funny i must say..it utterly depresses me that it is about 3 women who are searching for happiness! what about me i say! what about me!

my mum's left for her "round the world" trip today and she won't be back for 3 weeks! gosh..3 weeks of take-aways! will miss her..less the nagging though..alright maybe a little of the nagging!

tomorrow will be better! mainly because i took half day..so at least it'll definitely be half better than today -shrugz-

cheers!
adrian

cool cats!

jessica adams's "cool for cats" is nice..to rock and roll music lovers that is..this must be the second book that mentioned that 1979 is the year rock music underwent an evolution..the first i think is nick hornby's "high fidelity"..maybe that's why i am so obsessed with music..in a way, i can relate to the female heroine in the story..everything we do seem to be set to a certain piece of music..it's these songs that make up the soundtrack of our lives..for this few months, my track listing seems to be stuck with lots of angry and sad songs..hai..

no matter how hard i try..work still sucks..i really really really really really got to find a better reason to live my life than like this..

assignment due in less than a week's time and i have yet to select my product..still deciding between doing sunglasses or cereals or employment agencies. gosh..there goes all my good work last semester flushed down the drain..

ok ok happy thoughts. maybe tomorrow i'll try playing something different like..urm..oasis' "stop crying your heart out"? bah..this isn't working too well is it?

shining through!

on the football front, the team which i said were tough to beat..well we beat them 4-2! i assisted two and scored one..i'm really thankful that the team still stood by me despite my lousy showing the previous week..but it was not about me only, the whole team played really well together..looking forward to the next round now..

my results are finally cleared! thank goodness! scored "D"s (for Distinction) for both subjects i took last semester..a great improvement from previous semesters..hopefully i'm peaking at the right time cuz i hope to graduate by next year! -fingers crossed- 15 down, 6 more to go!!

things are looking up..but feet on ground, these are times to not get too carried away..there will always be problems around us but likewise solutions are always around..sometimes it's up to us to accept the solutions and act upon them (she knows what i'm talking about!)..for all the blue mondays i've gone through, i've finally found a good one and that's today..today when i have been adored..

cycling and dim sum dollies still to come this saturday..i cannot wait!

cheers!
adrian

isn't it ironic?

friday. the last week has been bad. then again..getting better. but still bad! my grade for international business is still hanging in the air after what? over two weeks now. plus just received two emails from the university today - one a warning mail for failing a module (unjustified!) and another to inform me of the upcoming deferred and supp examinations (even more unjustified!). how do they run the damn place! makes me wonder how i've come to study in such a disorganised environment! the only good thing out of this ordeal is that i get to chat a lot with aeris the new coordinator she's really a sweetie! =P anyway i really hope to get this out of the way so i can get on with the new semester without any other worries!

on the brighter side, i've began running again. everyday in the evenings..well only two days so far but i'm pretty confident i'll be able to maintain it..anything to get out of that hideous workplace of mine!

i've been gorging on ben and jerry's ice cream to kill my depression..i'm into my second tub in 3 days! for those who haven't tried b&j's before and think that hagen daaz is rich..you haven't tried really rich ice cream yet! i've been writing a lot recently, i think it's the depression. for a sneak preview i'll leave you with a few lines..enjoy and have a nice weekend ahead!


..homework was actually due last week
but i couldn't hand it up on a lesson i skipped
now could i? there's still ample time
right now there's too much on my mind..

..throw your joke books and guide books aside
others probably read them as well, so they'd know what's inside
if you want attention, just be you
sometimes the best moments come impromptu..

Copyright AD© All Rights Reserved 2004.



cheers!
adrian

oh simple thing where have you gone?

had another match for the church team today..it was a must-win match so that we would ensure ourselves a quater-final place in the tournament..a draw would suffice but that would mean we would have to face the top team in the other group..

but when your team only brought eleven players (the rest being out for all sorts of reasons), the signs were there that it isn't going to be quite your day..from the kick-off, the opponent took control of the game (mind you, they were not that good! not at all..) according to plan, the opponent scored first..we struggled throughout but thankfully we equalised before halftime..second half and we should have won the match, no thanks to me missing two chances - one crossing the line but the referee was too far to judge it, the second just wide of the post with just the keeper to beat..hai..it's times like these that really get to me..depressing..so the game ended 1-1..we can still get a better position if we win our next match but our next opponents are reknown to be one of the toughest in this tournament..and judging from today's performance, it'll take a very long shot for us to get a win out of that one..

as for me..i seriously need to get my confidence and my touch back..both have neglected me since goodness knows when..somehow when i see the ball coming, i always have a phobia which i cannot quite put a finger on..hai..when you're down you're down..and tomorrow and the coming days sure aren't going to make things better..not as i foresee..

has it come to this?

this comes from listening to the streets..check out out the new album "a grand don't come for free" and be inspired! just like i have! =P


has it all come down to this?
us crying our hearts out and being pissed
with each other for not doing a little more
to save this thing we once had before
love, but now a big mistake
stop the blame game for goodness sake!
it takes two hands to clap, two feet to walk
it was by mutual consent lest you forgot
if it was my fault, i accept it
but you were no angel either you have to admit
now there's nothing left to do nor to mention
i left a shirt at your place, but nah that's not important!
it's in your wardrobe in the bottom left drawer by the way
you can keep it though, it was from you anyway!
here, have a tissue, take as many as you need
stop crying so hard, you're wetting my feet
things will be alright in another day or two
i'll be long gone, you may not even remember who
i am or what role in your life i assumed
maybe you'll recall i once spilt cheap perfume
all over you, but that was by accident
but that's just maybe, it sure didn't happen
so this is my breakup poem, i couldn't resist
having a dig at you..has it come to this?

addy (23rd july 2004)


Copyright AD© All Rights Reserved 2004.

for everything that has faded away..

the other time when i was out with jasmin, we talked about our blogs and the topic of whether our blog addresses are still relevent to us cropped up.. so the question is "am i still fading away?" the answer kind of popped up in my head just the other day while i was waiting for the mrt - for every moment that passes us by, a little bit of us fades away with that moment.. think of it, you put your finger to dig your nose and just that moment a small boy sees it and laughs loudly attracting everyone's attention to you.. that moment can never be brought back to remedy.. alright, so that may be a little exaggerated but that's the way life goes.. moments of love, joy, anger, loss, victory, confusion, none of them are permanent.. so yes, shifting through times and faded-away is still relevent.. this blog retains bits and pieces of me that have already passed or faded away.. even little details like my signing off name has changed (from addy to adrian).. hmm..which gives me an idea.. perhaps i should ask my younger "sis" to blog here some time in future! -grinz-

anyway the moment has passed for this particular post..time for me to sign off and fade away -winks-

cheers!
adrian

sophie-sticated!

as mentioned in one of my earlier postings, i've been reading sophie's world, a book the author jostein gaarder wrote to teach his class about psychology..well, if you're looking for adventure and mystery, this book may not be your type..the only mysteries here are that of the world and the universe! one part kind of stuck to my mind though and it got me thinking of the relationship between science and religion..this regards the mystery of "which came first - the chicken or the egg?"..but no, i don't wish to investigate that but something similar..

in the Old Testament of the Bible, when God created the world, the first two humans he created were Adam and Eve..ok fair enough..now consider this other part..if the first two humans were indeed Adam and Eve..where does the stone ages and dinosaurs exist? and what happened to the evolution of the monkey into human as the scientists discovered?

i do not wish to question the presence of a God above us but has anyone ever wondered about the validity of the Bible and that the beginning might have been invented by an ancient storyteller? just some food for thought for the weekend!

cheers!
adrian

no alarms and no alcohol please..

maurice just got married (the traditional part that is!) yesterday..i got invited to be one of his "brothers"..considering that i haven't really known him that long, it was a real privilege that he even asked me! =) in the morning, after meeting at his place, we proceeded to the wife's parents' house to "bang door"..the challenges were pretty "normal" - star jumps on the rooftop of the opposite carpark and maurice singing a short verse of "smoke gets in your eyes" across the block!, all 8 brothers kissing maurice on the face and the usual "suan tian ku la" (sour sweet bitter spicy) "food fare"! anyway i thought we kind of got in a little easy in the end..haha..but good for us! =P after that, we went over to maurice's place again for the tea ceremony then back to cecilia's (his wife) for the same thing and buffet lunch..we went our separate ways after lunch but met back in the evening to help out with the wedding dinner..

dinner was at the holiday inn parkview..the brothers were mainly in charged of reception and the ushering of guests..not that we were much help! dinner consisted of the usual 8-course, champagne toasting, photo-taking..and the usual sabo-ing of the bride and groom! the thing i don't understand is, why do friends always want to sabo them on their wedding night and with alcohol?! gosh..both of them looked real sick after the first sabo session..i cannot imagine how they both must be after the second one (if there was, cuz i had left by then!)..i think i've decided after last night's events that there will be no hard liquor, no wine, no beer, no alcohol at my wedding next time! the closest anyone should get to an alcoholic drink is root beer take it or leave it! but of course, i may change my mind when that day gets nearer! =P

last but not least, to maurice and cecilia, here's wishing you two the best of times together and may your lives be filled with bliss, love and much happiness!

cheers!
adrian

it's been a long week..

i am into the fifth day of my mc..one would think that i should and have been enjoying myself the past few days..well, not really (honest!)..my movements have been restricted by my rib injury - any slight pressure exerted on that area causes discomfort..on the brighter side, just learnt from my doctor today that the xrays are alright and there is no fracture -phew-..thinking if i should go play football this sunday..hmm.. -looks at yaling- -gulps- then again..

been playing wheel of fortune with karen on msn a lot lately..she's having holidays now but has to stay home to look after her grandma..pretty even contest between us..though today i just ran over her 4 games to none! -beams-

reading "sophie's world" at the moment to keep myself occupied between semesters..talk about a cheem book! it's interesting but when taken in large dosage, it can be pretty tedious, so i'm just taking one chapter at a time..was tempted to buy marian keyes' "sushi for beginners" walking through kinokuniya but thought better of it..hercules poirot awaits in my book cabinet..think he's balding faster than usual in there! oh, speaking of semester, this is the first sem i scored all distinction and above for all of my assignments! i amaze even myself at times! =P hope the final grades can match up to that level though! -cross fingers-

for those interested, i just updated the links..and anyone who has a better suggestion to replace the horoscope please let me know..firstly i'm not really a believer that stars control one's fate (influenced by sophie's world!) and secondly, it doesn't update itself automatically meaning i have to do it manually, daily! last but not least, thanks to all who have been taking time to leave their comments..

watching spideman 2 later..should be gooooood..

cheers!
god bless!
adrian

wah kaoz!

talk about bad things coming together..
isn't it a wonder how bad things always happen one after another like a domino effect? first i got posted over to gombak which is like at the other end of singapore..then i had to do a major servicing on a saturday night on the day before i left..plus a lot of last minute additional stuff..can't they let me even leave in peace! then today during football i got whacked around the rib area by my own teammate! wah kaoz..there's this lump now..and even the most normal things like getting off my chair hurts..anyway the teams drew 1-1..though i came off after the incident..couldn't even run without the pain..the only bright side i can take from all these is that i delayed my posting for one more day! hmm..maybe i should get an mc for tuesday as well! haha..

anyway have a "better week than me" ahead!
cheers!
god bless!
adrian

good conversation.. ...

just got home from dinner with jasmin..she's as nice to talk to as ever..we just chatted away like long lost friends..well kind of in a way! =P

anyhow, it got me thinking, i stopped accepting requests to go out for dinners and meet-ups and asking people out these days because i suddenly thought that i had lost my touch and had became a poor conversationist..to the extent that i find excuses not to go out alone with just a friend..yes, i believed that i will bore that person to death and that person to me..don't ask me whatever gave me that idea..but since going out with jess a week ago and now jasmin..i'm starting to doubt myself about that "theory"! maybe it's the company of those two lovely ladies or maybe it's just myself all along..anyway, i would like to thank them for letting me be the someone i know i can be and for letting me entertain them for dinner! =) the pleasure's all mine..really!

last but not least..jasmin asked me how many CDs i have in my collection and for the first time..i actually made the effort to count them..and came up with the grand total of -ahemz- -drum roll- 1223 (singles, albums, jazz, pop, indie, chinese, dance, you name it i may have it!)!!! my goodness! can you imagine how many i would have now if i hadn't sold off and gave away any of my CDs before?! and that total does not take into account CDs that come as double-CDs..it also means that even if i listened to one CD per day..it'll still take me MORE THAN 3 YEARS to finish listening to all of them! -dumbfounded-

natalie where are you??

the sole on my shoes which i've worn since poly are torn! -whines-
my sling bag is torn at the corner! -moans-
my football boot's stitching is torn at the side! -hai-
gotta spend money replacing them! -frownz-
my exams are over! -YEAH!-

cheryl nuer you can stop nagging me now! -hehe- -big hugs-

happy father's day dad!

today is father's day and i know like always there will be no celebration, no special lunch..it's going to be just like every sunday..another ordinary sunday..there was a period of time i despised my dad..but the passing of a friend's father made me think about a lot of things..

i started to recollect times when i (a young boy then) used to pretend to be asleep so that my dad will carry me from the car to the house..times when my dad will drive around singapore searching every macdonald's so that i will not miss the figurine that came with the happy meals that week (trust me, there were very FEW macdonald's outlets back then!)..times when he would make the effort to drive my family to diamaru every weekend (shopping centres? see macdonald's..) for a walk-around though i end up making him buy me a toy nearly every time..times when he was probably tired but still took my brother and i down to the field to kick a ball..and times when he would take us for yearly tours be it genting highlands or australia..as a young boy growing up, i never appreciated such acts..these were supposed to be done! period. but now i realise after so many years spent misunderstanding my dad (i still cannot understand him till this day some things he does!), that even though he don't show it obviously enough..he still does it quietly for the family..just like even though we're not that close these days, he still makes the effort to know what drinks i prefer and makes sure the fridge is filled with it (most times he gets it wrong though!)..okay, so he can be a miser and stubborn at times, but no one is perfect!

to all my friends, all i can say is before you start saying your parents don't understand you, think of the times when at least they tried to..

and to my friends whose dads have passed away (you know who you are), instead of treating this day as a day of moaning, take this day to remember and treasure the memories, daddy wouldn't like to see his little girl crying now would he? stay strong like i know you girls are! -hugs-

last but not least, to my dad..i know you are probably not going read this but i'll just leave it here anyway..i appreciate all you've done for me and the family and i feel blessed that you are my dad..even though you can be unreasonable at times, i know that deep down you do care..from the bottom of my heart i love you and happy father's day!

god bless!
cheers!
adrian

a little less chicken..a little more essence please..

this is late news but anyway my first paper, sales management went pretty well..though i think i might have written too little for most of my answers..still hopefully i can get a good grade.. -cross fingers- now for the coming paper - international business - on tuesday..speaking of which, my mind seems to suffer from pre-mature hibernation..it's like everytime after the first paper, i just cannot get started again..alright so i've jotted down a few points here and there, i've ran through the lecture slides but nothing progressive..must be all those late nights following the euro2004! =P

jx is mad i tell you..every now and then, she'll drop little hints hurrying me to get married! this time she even published it in her blog! wah kaoz..just the other day even that kenneth asked me the same question - this after he attended a wedding dinner! WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?! next they will be asking me when i'll be having a baby so that they can be god-mums or god-dads! -gosh-

whoops..supposed to be studying..don't tell anyone i was here now! -sshh-

just a bit more..

exams are approaching again! took half day off today..got caught in the rain on my way out of camp (not a good start..)..could hardly see the road on my way home! (definitely not a good start..)
got home and idled a bit..
finally got started and studied a bit.. (not bad..)
rested a while..and got up..(disciplined for once!)
studied a bit more..(good good..)
rested a little while more..(ok..this is becoming habit..)
idled around a little..
went to play football..
got mud kicked into my mouth! (ARGH!)
came home..too tired to study.. (damn!)
will try to better today's effort tomorrow! -determined look-

good night!

the KICKOFF!

today was the first match of the church league..14 teams split into two groups of 7..the top 4 teams of each group will then advance to a knock-out stage to determine a winner..it has been 2-3 years since the last time we took part in this competition so i was quite nervous..one thing i remembered is that i finished top scorer in my team then (not to mention the over-the-top celebrations!)..

the match began normal enough - both teams feeling each other out until a cross from the left caught out the goalkeeper and all i had to do was to direct the ball into an empty net..but..no..i directed it timidly onto the post instead! -what the!- thankfully from the rebound my teammate hit home..it made up a little for my miss but somehow that sinking feeling started entering my thoughts..but that lasted only a while as a long through ball from defense found me one on one with the goalkeeper..this time i made no mistake - lifting the ball over the onrushing goalkeeper! a tide of gladness swept over me..i went on to score one more in similar fashion a few minutes later - lobbing the ball over the goalie this time..during halftime i told myself if i scored one more, i'll do the robbie keane celebration..but alas! it was not to be..the match ended 3-0..

a good way to kickoff the church league but tougher opponents await us..hopefully the team can get better with each match..i'm not expecting us to win the league but the ball is round and anything is possible right? let's see how far we can go..until the next match, i will be basking in mental replays of the two goals i scored! =P

god bless all with a lovely week ahead!
stay adored!
adrian

8 years and counting.. ...

met jess for dinner just now..supposed to meet at 7.30pm outside nooch citylink...typical of that woman, she was late for an hour! but i forgive her..i always do!

went to esplanade to have dinner..being the suaku that i was, i didn't know what there was to eat except the "Garlic Restaurant" which i dined at with karen on valentine's day! well jess acted like she knew the place but i guessed that she was just as lost as i was! finally, we settled on this place called "Thai Express"..she had thai prawn noodles and i had thai chicken rice..her prawn noodles looked normal enough when it came, clear soup with a few prawns, seafood and glass noodles..until she made me tried it that is! the innocent looking soup tasted like tomyam with an extra dose of pepper! thankfully i did not succumb to her over-enthusiastic urging to have more than a spoonful!! the thai chicken rice wasn't too bad and the sauce that accompanied it was good..you kind of know when something tastes good when jess starts dabbing her food into it!!

we got dinner out of the way pretty quickly..but we stayed on to chat..reminiscing about the past, bemoaning our current fates and wondering how the future will be like..anyway it just hit me today that her brother is now in secondary 4 and her sis is 21!! gosh..to think when i knew her, the brother was still a kid and the sis just got into secondary school! time flies..

a little after 10pm and after around 5 glasses of cold plain water -oops!-, we finally got up to leave..she footed the bill as an apology for being late! then it was that long walk to city hall mrt where we parted..we promised to meet up soon to excercise together (hopefully!)..

however, the one thing that really made my evening was when she told me at the mrt that it has been a long time since someone made her laugh so much..it would have struck a deep emotional chord just a while back..but this time, it just made me feel special, special enough to be more than a friend to someone and special enough to stay that way..8 years of laughter and counting..i wonder if she knows..she makes me laugh too much too!

out of mold..

running through the archives is just like reliving little bits and pieces of my life..some i rather not remember and some i look upon with a fond smile..i realise my writing style has changed a lot..gone are all the crappy poems like..

something's got into me/ stressed? or a stress relief?/
ok, enough here/ i'm starting to feel a fear/
i'm going to pass my exam/ just like that, KAZAM! -snaps fingers-
- 30 oct 2002

or even those parody of songs like this one from eminem posted on 6th december 2002!

-addy goes to lose himself in the music/ the moment he's waiting for him to win toto!-

now adrian is allllllll serious..not so much action like..

06 dec 2002 must change must change..-psyches himself-
or
15 apr 2003 AD : -dumbfounded-
or
04 nov 2002 -in a bimbo voice- isn't that great?!

aaahh..those were the days..but one thing has remained rather consistent throughout these 2 years (plus a little more)..the lack of comments!! i used to moan about this regularly but reading back on my past postings again, i realise that besides blogging for others to read..this blog also serves to remind me of things i did wrong, silly moments, achievements to be proud of, failures that i overcame..more importantly, these postings preserve my memories..

another new week is beginning, stay adored and be happy!

god bless!
cheers!
adrian

i'm not a boy not yet a man..

i was just thinking yesterday how others have often regard my thinking as matured..somehow after yesterday's session, i kind of beg to differ..consider this, i stopped oogling at MTVs only when i was halfway through poly, i stopped playing with soft toys only when i finished poly, i still spend too much money, i still get angry over the littlest things, it only hit me that true love only exists in movies when i was in the army, i don't do the housework and my idea of setting the alarm clock is to get an estimate of what time my mum is coming over to wake me up! well, just to name a few examples! while my friends are getting married, one by one, i'm just on the verge of beginning to begin to understand what a relationship really means..but like most other things in life i'm still stuck at the basics! not that i'm not considering marriage in the near future, but sometimes i do wonder if i'm grown up enough..or are we ever grown-up enough in our lives? if it's complicated being a teenager, it sure is worse being stuck in between being a boy and growing up to be a man!

i get a kick out of.. ...

just got home from a football match..lost..again..but i scored despite playing like crap..so maybe that compensates a little for an otherwise forgettable match..it always is special when i score..i just get a kick out of it..

Shrek 2 was much like it's predecessor..lots of sweetness and cuteness and eddie-murphy-ness! i think eddie murphy really outdoes himself as Donkey than in his other comedy roles..ok..so maybe the story is predictable..but that doesn't make this movie any less enjoyable..parodies of films like mission impossible (remember that famous tom cruise stunt where he did that horizontal drop?) and lord of the rings, that crouch grabbing move of michael jackson's courtesy of Pinocchio and even of famous brands like Farbucks (i mean starbucks..really!) and Versachery all add a little charm to the film..if you're looking for a film to catch in the next week..be sure to leave your daily worries behind and visit this far faraway land..if you get what i mean! -winks-

that's all from me now..may all have a good week ahead..

god bless!
cheers!
addy

married with children..

4.30 a.m...i cannot believe i'm still awake! my colleague's wife is at club med so he decided to leave his 3 children at home and arranged a little outing for bachelors only..well..almost!

10.15pm, met and got comfy at C.A.N. cafe (or is it?) at bugis..the guys ordered beer but being as i am, i had chocolate milkshake (though i must say it tasted more like banana milkshake!) instead..and so we sat there, (my handphone rang and yaling informed me she was with a group behind us!), we played daidee (yaling said goodbye and left midway) and we idled till midnight! that's when the bachelor for the night decided we dropped by newton hawker for a little makan..(it's the middle of the night for goodness sake can't we go home?!)..anyway, he had chicken rice! while i and a few other friends shared 2 otaks and a plate of carrot cake..2.15am, ("bachelor" leaves to go home to his 3 kids) and someone suggested a pool session..i wanted to protest but then it's been goodness knows how long since i last stayed out late and plus i didn't want to be a spoilsport, so i agreed to go along..went to two other pool parlours before we settled for pool factor at marina south..i could hardly keep my eyes open much less aim! 4am, finally they decided to call it a night..and all i can keep thinking is if i can keep awake during Shrek 2 later in the day!

well, good night to all husbands and bachelors!

note : this was not actually written at 4.30am saturday morning!

tick tock..

there's been a ticking noise in my ear lately..it comes and goes at random timings..infrequently but frequently enough to bug me! what the hell is it!! the first time i heard it was during football on sunday..while i was running..tick tick tick tick..when i stopped..it was gone..but after that day..it just comes and goes..damn! my brother said it is my heartbeat when it is not in sync with my hearing..my friend said it was due to exposure to loud music..i just think it's pretty irritating! =(

there must be something more to life than this..

every sunday i get up..brush my teeth..wash up..aahh..refreshed..eat breakfast..idle around the house until 1.30pm..have lunch..2pm get ready for football session..3pm football session..6pm football session ends..6.30pm reach home deadtired..bathe and idle around a little more..8pm dinnertime..9pm get ready for bed..monday morning 6am time for work..

and so it goes on and on every weekend..to the extend no one dares to ask me out on sundays anymore..it's even worse when the football is cancelled..that's 2pm - 8pm of doing nothing! there must be something more to life than this..surely! guess i'll figure it out WHEN i figure it out..or maybe when i'm married with kids!!

saturday morning 10a.m.

it's another saturday morning 10a.m. (alright so i'm repeating myself!) and i shouldn't be blogging right now..why? because i'm fully utilising my office facilities and i really shouldn't be doing that!!

anyway, finally done with my assignment (you know the one i was kinda complaining about last night?)..though i think it's pretty crap..hai..

and before i forget..here's a shoutout to my bud in genting! hope you brought enough snacks!! =P

i think addy's going mad..

stay adored!
god bless!
cheers!
addy

bittersweet symphony

everyday i have complains..i complain that i have assignments to rush..i complain that i don't have enough money..i complain when my job gets me posted elsewhere..i complain when my legs ache and feel like they are about to give way..but the passing of a friend's dad recently made me realise that i am blessed just to be here..i am lucky that my family still loves me..i am fortunate that my friends are still around me.. ..now everytime i complain i just do it out of the habit to do so! =P

to this friend of mine, i know it's never easy when a close one moves on to another life but i hope she stays strong and may god light her way whenever darkness beckons..

life is a bittersweet experience..behind every bitter moment, comes the sweet..bear with the bitterness and treasure the sweetness of life..god bless!

stay adored!
cheers!
addy

reunion!

yesterday's annual cny gathering (despite numerous "no replies" and "non-appearances"!) was quite a success..though i must say there was nothing successful about me losing almost 30 bukceroos at blackjack!! i know "certain" people will beg to differ though! =P

but what's most satisfying is the re-appearance of our dear friend and my partner in crime in so many #tkgs outings before, sam the man..the fat man that is! =P it's been so long since we last met up but yet the chemistry is still there..i guess great partnerships are hard to put down eh sam? haha.. (jingxian..you left too early my girl!) to think that at 2pm i gave up on him even making an appearance! heh..but well..he did collect an "appearance fee" of around 30 bucks in the end!

anyway, like i said, this will be the last time i tried to organise a large gathering..but as it turned out it wasn't much of a "large" one in the end! despite all the "rejection", all the fuss my mum and i had to go through (more of her credit really!! so THANKS MUM!) and not to mention all the money i have lost two years in a row (especially to a particular person who doesn't know how to play blackjack!!)..this cny gathering was more special in the sense that in spite of our seemingly growing distances throughout the year, there is just this one day which we can all still come together and remember the good old days..and i say cheers to that..

lastly, i would like to say a big thank you to everyone who made an appearance..it couldn't have been the same without you guys!

and as for next year..well.. ...urm..maybe.. just maybe..

i am..
addy

last one?

2nd February, Monday..please take note is the (annual??) chinese new year gathering at my place..as usual, lunch and angbaos will be provided for! (not by me!) =P

i'm getting quite tired (not to mention lazy!) of organising this every year..sending out the invitations is the easy part, the worst part is when people start asking me who else is coming before making their decision! if everyone was like that, no one will come! anyway, hopefully (or not) this will be the last time i'm holding this gathering (does it seem like i've repeated this many times before?? hmm..) ..or at least, one consisting of such a large group of people..and besides, aren't you guys sick of my house already?!

for those who do not know yet, i've moved house already so please do not arrive at my old place in jalan damai trying to surprise me (you'd probably surprise yourself!)! =P email or sms me for my new address..hope to see you guys then! if the turnout's good, who knows..maybe i'll save the "last time" for another year!

stay adored!
and may one and all enjoy a prosperous year of the moneky!

cheers!
addy

christmas at karen's place

make it good!

2004..another year gone..am i the only one or are there others out there who have wondered about what they have accomplished the past year and come short? well, wasted may not exactly be the word..the every day learning process is always there..i've learnt how to drag myself to class (well, at least for half the class which is an improvement!! -dignified look-) i've learnt that the tap at Sakae Sushi is for their hot drinks (thanks or no thanks to the ling!! -blushes-) i've changed the way i behave here and there - the way i talk, the way i drive, the way i look at others..as you can see, i've accomplished quite a fair bit in 2003..but none of radical significance..but maybe that's the way it always would be, just like a business doesn't make a profit overnight (unless the owner suddenly struck lottery!!), life is all about taking slow and steady steps with the occasional trips and slips and some parts where we have to take a leap..

one thing rather sad is that with each passing year, more and more friends are becoming in a sense more "inaccessible" (including myself!)..we are always more busy with other things..our studies, our hobbies, our obsessions..and when i think about it now, would it really hurt to put aside a few hours for our friends? sad but true, but at least countdown was special this year with karen..not only because the fireworks display was simply gorgeous..not because the "school of rock" rocked!..and not because for once i appreciated the other races for what they are..but because of a little sacrifice she made for me..thanks darling..it made everything even more special! =)

the only thing (or people) missing perhaps was that the usual suspects were not there to bask in the moment with us, kenneth, yaling, xinyi, roland, raymond, jessica..to you guys, i say i miss you guys lots and i really wished you were there!

lastly, i haven't got any new year's resolutions this year..now you may ask what's the use of resolutions when more than half of the people you know who make them usually do not keep them? well, i've thought about that and my answer is simply: if you do not make them, you are not even trying..it may be something as trivial as wanting to change your dress sense or getting a new hair cut..but a new year's resolution stands for something deeper, it is something you have wanted to do but have not found enough reason or guts enough to do..sure, we may not accomplish them, but at least let us not not accomplish them for the lack of trying!

to all (if anyone still reads this blog!!), i wish you a wonderful and blessed 2004 ahead! =)

stay adored! cheers!