Heartbreaker!

had a little sms chat with my ex..seems that she is now working as an air stewardess! a Singapore Girl no less! no wonder the first message i received from her was "may i know who is this?"!! -grumblez- become air stewardess, forget friend =( but then again, she was always a sad story for me right from the start..a 3 day relationship - if you can call it that! - broke my heart badly and since then i have yet to find that little spark i used to have for relationships..hai..

anyway, on the topic of ex-es..all of them seem to be abroad! what's up with that?! one is in australia studying, one in china with her family and one flies in and out of the country! the last one i lost contact with her already sadly..but i guess breaking up with me has it's plus points! =P maybe i should start a business, "The Professional Heartbreaker - break my heart and win a trip!"..not bad an idea..will get to work on it some time..

1.51pm have to go back to work in the evening..it sucks..it's a saturday! no one works on saturday evenings! tommy page's time plays time will always heal the pain/ bring the sun and dry the rain... if only it was all that simple tommy..if only..

I know it's not right..

i know it's not right to feel down in the dumps..afterall it's CHRISTMAS!
so?

walked down orchard alone with hundreds and thousands of people around, all playing, laughing and basically having a good time and there i was, just one person in the crowd..lonely? no..not really..

i mean..i could have gone to the midnight mass with my parents..but will that make it any better? will a priest preaching the good news to me make christmas a little more special? no..not this year..

12.42am no..not very sincerely..but merry christmas to all anyway..

Christmas Without You

aaahh..one more day..one more day to christmas..the counting down to midnight so we can wish each other "MERRY CHRISTMAS!"..the opening of presents..the kissing under the mistletoe..the feeling of being locked in your embrace..christmas tree lights..christmas without you won't feel like christmas..but that's the way it always seem to go..hai..

speaking of presents..the precious moments figurine yaling gave me is very niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice..the green looks a bit "obiang" -looks at yaling "NO don't hit me again!" =(- but i still love it! honest! =P

i just gave away more than $100 worth of my CDs to my colleagues today..feel very happy..it's nice to be able to share..rather than to sell to stingy places like cash convertors or gramaphone!

playing x japan's piano version of "longing"..very tragic..very suited to my mood at the moment..how i long for a christmas under the starry night sky with nothing else but neverending embraces and kisses..tommy page is right it won't feel like christmas without you..

last but not least..HAPPY BIRTHDAY YALING! i'm always the first ain't i? when are you going to give me a prize for that eh? hehe...

I'm so irresponsible

no i did not make any girl pregnant!

just realised my friend was down and i didn't even know about it! =( so sorry eug..so sorry that i have been so consumed by myself that i forgot about my friends..anyway, a word for you : don't give up..cuz i've been there before and trust me, i've been through worse..to the extent my lecturers had to call me personally and gave me personal tuition! so stick in there my friend!

just bought a canon V2..and after all that excitement about getting a digi-cam, once i got it, i don't really want to play with it anymore! what's wrong with me! =( it was the same with the MD player i bought as well..hai..

suede's everything will flow goes through my mind..and so it must..

Tis the season to be jolly!

was writing christmas cards..only the good boys and girls will get any from me! lol..actually, only those whose addresses i have! =P anyway, it got me to thinking about my birthday again and makes me have second thoughts about sending any out..but i guess to do so won't change anything. i used to go by this saying "do unto others what you want done unto yourself" but then, if i followed in what i thought was crap of others, i'm not much better off am i? that doesn't make me a saint, it's just what i say to comfort myself..merry christmas? we'll see..

11.27pm roxette singing i don't want to get hurt..i've done my time..
appropriately so..but now it's just time for bed..

Typically Singaporean!

just yesterday i was at the National Stadium expecting some team to maybe change my mind about the state of Singapore football. needless to say..they proved me right and stamped "GUARANTEED!" on my theory as well! there's this hokkien phrase "su lang mai su seh" (lose people but lose with style). well, last night, singapore didn't lose any style..they didn't play with any! angry? not really..just feel like a fool for actually harbouring a little hope in a team who put schoolboys' football to shame!
it wasn't the scoreline..we could lose by 10 goals for all i care..but to play like they did..oh wait..let me rephrase that..but to stand around for singapore like they did while malaysia steamrolled over us..that's just not acceptable. but well, most singaporeans are like that anyway..we all like to stand around and wait for things to happen..if that's any consolation!

Santa vs Snowman 3D!

was excited to check out how the IMAX experience would be like and i must say it was quite nice =)

mainly it's a story about how a big chubby snowman wanted to get big nosed santa out of a job..
and so he declared war on santa..blah blah blah..
will not reveal anymore except that the fight scenes were hilarious! -heh-
overall, it was a pleasant experience..the characters are all so cuuuuute...-gushes-

well..that's of course looking past the storyline and the ridiculous charge of 13 bucks for a half an hour show!

can't wait for the Lion King to be released on 25th december! =)

My Smiling Face!

got my new license! yeah! nothing really classy but..
it means that i'm one of the first with the photo license and..
i can finally take off my P-plate!!
woohoo!

Something's clamping my head in!

my head's killing me..and all the doctor said was that i was too tensed up!
and that isn't good is it? =(

drove onto a kerb today while making a u-turn!
what on earth was i doing?! and the u-turn was a wide one at that!
goodness!

to make matters worse..i went all the way to singapore post in paya lebar when i knew that my mail (whatever mail it is stated in the memo) would only arrive tomorrow as stated in the memo (which i read and re-read at least 3 times!).
what's going on?!

i shall not dwell on this..that's what the creative thinking course i'm attending taught me..urm..i think!

anyway pulp's greatest hits compilation is out now in stores! SO GO GET IT!
no reviews will be written, none needed! =P

all this while jarvis cocker asks me a million times are you sure you want to live like common people?..for the last time NO jarvis NO!

Lose Yourself!

been a good week and that's not an exaggeration by any means..
posting results out..exam results out..extra long weekend off..
now all i need is to strike the lottery to make it all complete!

regarding the posting..i did not get posted out but..
two of the colleagues whom i'm closer to, got the bad news..
which makes this completely bittersweet for me..

exam results were alright considering that i had expected to fail..
(my expectations based on the fact that i did not even attend a single lesson for one of the subjects!)
one 50 and one 54..(is there someone reading this blog with superhuman powers or what!)
to say i'm contented will be an understatement!
then again, i've been like this about my exams since secondary school!
gosh..old habits die hard i suppose..
must change must change..-psyches himself-

2.42pm..eminem making a whole lot of noise about losing yourself in the music/ the moment you won it you better never let it go..
he's a whole lot of crap..but i like his music anyway..so maybe i'm crap as well! hmm..

meanwhile...
-addy goes to lose himself in the music/ the moment he's waiting for him to win toto!-
Brilliant!

DEpressing DEcember!

what a way to start a brand new month..ok it's not the new month YET but it's always good to make advance plans ain't it?
still haven't snapped out of my depression yet..
been some time since i last felt like this..if only i can remember what i did to cure myself of it!
how ironic then that my current catchphrase is "brilliant"!
then again, life is one big irony isn't it?

start of lessons again this week..i hope to have more discipline this time around and start attending lessons religiously..well..hopefully!
next monday is job posting day..or so everyone at work is saying..hope it won't be me who gets posted to bukit gombak..hopefully!
thursday..results for my 2 papers coming out..hope i pass..just a 50/100 will do just fine..i know i did not study much but..hopefully!

my colleagues have been irritating..whistling that silly carlsberg tune all day..don't they know that song's passé?!
and some of them even think it's a new song especially composed for carlsberg!..goodness!
it doesn't help that class 95 broadcasts it every half hour..cuz every time they hear it, they start with the whistling again!
sheesh!

1.56pm..decide to be precise today..so not rounding off! =P
there're things to do..but i've yet to decide which to do!
should i 1) join kenneth for pool, 2) go for my class or 3) go back to reading my story book?
first things first though..gotta get that carlsberg tune out of my head!

i hate you baby, no it is not alright..
i hate you baby, i hear you even at night..
i hate you baby,
baby please get out of my head...

for goodness' sakes!

Oh Harry!

just returned from the magic wonderland of Hogwarts -dreamy look-
well, actually i just got home from marina square! =P
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets..
i've heard so much about it from friends and colleagues..
comments ranging from boring to "gotta watch!"
(hmm..that Singing In The Rain song suddenly popped into my mind "GOTTA DANCE!!!" -tap tipity tap-)
anyway, the movie has been kept very much true to the book..
and the effects were still as fasinating..it's like the characters and everything else just popped out of the book itself!
the producers even had the mind to remove parts like the sorting ceremony so that it doesn't repeat what has already been shown in the first installment.
the only minus point may be that the storyline is a little hard to catch..especially for those who haven't watched the first installment and haven't read the book
(my colleague actually slept in the middle of the show! or so he says!)
overall, it's a little long but then, i cannot think of any part i would like removed! =P
definitely one of those shows i wouldn't mind watching again..any takers?
-hintz-
lol

Open Letter to my "Sister"

why do you make blur the line that i've so painstakingly drawn?
i know i'm not supposed to feel a thing but..
well, i don't know what to feel right now really..
i wished you would give me a sign or something..
but then again, why would you give me a sign when there was no intention on your part?
i'm oh so confused all over again..

guess i've to make bold the line that i've drawn to stop myself stepping over it..
so that you cannot blur it for me..
unless..
of course, you decide to step over to my side...

Singing In The Rain was not too bad..but not too good either. of course that's comparing it with Phantom of The Opera and Les Miserable! Overall the casting wasn't exactly strong..i love Cosmo (is that how you spell his name?!) though..he's so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute! =P and i loved it when Don Lockwood kicked water off the stage! that was good..though some guy in the front row apparently got angry. it seemed his spirits were terribly dampened! lol...

spent (virtually) the whole night at the beach with kenneth and yaling talking cuz i was feeling down..then it had to rain! and trust me, it was not so much fun freezing in the rain!! well, not exactly in the rain but we were freezing nonetheless (exept kenneth whom i suspect is beginning to lose his sense of feel!).

6am..came home amidst the heavy downpour..been a day of irony for me..mind is very blank now..and that Hanson song keeps replaying in my mind isn't it strange/ how we all feel a little bit weird sometimes?..

11pm...it's not exactly a brilliant start to the week...
finally finished The Rotter's Club by Jonathan Coe...nice book...dunno why i took so long to complete it though...
just found out three friends have found new sparks in their lives...
i wish them well and am truly happy for them...
in fact..i'm a little envious as well...sigh...

wished someone could teach me to be strong...

finally, the work week has ended..
i hate this later shift..1.30pm - 10pm..
i wake up, idle a while..then it's time for work..
i don't even know what time i should have my lunch!
so most of the time i just skip it! =P
when i knock off, it's so late, i don't feel like going anywhere..

saturdays are worse..11am - 3pm..and i don't drive to work on saturdays!
so when i get home it's ard 4pm and that's basically a quater of my weekend gone! =(
but my work is relaxed compared to other bases so..
thou shalt be grateful..amen!

it's been another see-saw week..i think i'm too emotional..
things don't happen around me at all! but my mind is throwing up new mysteries all the time..
i think about things that have past..and i think about things that have not yet happened (and may never happen!).
it's a neverending process i tell you..
so please be considerate and never ask me what i'm thinking about cuz..i can't tell you if i don't really know myself!

last but not least, i realise i'm really growing into this blog thing..
which is good in a way that i can write out my thoughts (at least those that i can make sense of!)..
unlike poetry where i have to write out how i feel and then phrase them properly..or it'll sound like crap..
i cannot stand crap..even if it's just mainly for myself..
then again..especially if it's mainly for myself!
anyway, i think i needed the break from writing poems..the last few were really rubbish..

arsenal vs spurs tonight..we should be in for a real good thrashing..
no..not because we are lousier than arsenal..but..
because yours truly is gonna be by the telly supporting his beloved spurs..
come on you spurs! -hopeful look-

very happy now..i represented my flight and scored 6 goals in street soccer at my squadron's annual sports meet!
we won the first match 3-1 and the second 7-1!
to think that at first i wasn't scheduled to go for this competition because of my shift..
then i had to get the flu on sunday..till today my nose is still dripping! =(
but i kinda heckcared everything else and put my best into it.

the atmostphere was electric..everytime i scored, my whole flight cheered..even those whom i have never seen before!
even my OC (officer in command) - whom i never had a very good impression of - high-fived me once when i scored!
even after the matches, all the congratulations came pouring in..even heard that the highest ranked guy - our CO (commanding officer) - asked about me!
-woah!-

everything is still so clear..all that "ooh"ing and "aah"ing and "YEAH!"
i'm only thankful i had the chance to soak in such an atmosphere..
the feeling that everyone is behind you and you are uniting the whole flight together..
for that i have to thank my colleague, chunchyi for pestering and pursuading me to go..
(hey! he even offered to sacrifice his place in the team just because i was doubtful that i'll get the chance to play!!)
and of course all 4 of my teammates who worked their soaks off as well for making this experience so unforgettable..
cheers to all!

very tired now..got a blister on my second toe..have a bruise on my knee..my throat is sore..my nose is still stuck...
but all worth it..
like my nuer said..dreams do come true..
even if it is as insignificant as a squadron street soccer competition..

listening to tommy page's i think i'm in love..brings back lots of memories..
remembered crying along to this song during one of my breakups..
remembered crying when i was confused..
suddenly feel like crying again..
alright..i'm a sentimental freak..hai..

everything's wrong..stayed home the whole sunday..because it rained the whole day!
wish i could walk under the rain and get soaked and forget all my troubles for a while..
always did enjoy those times under the rain..hai..

feel a sore throat coming up..
nose getting a little runny..
not very good signs..
think i'll sleep early tonight..but i've been sleeping the whole day!
think i'll go take a bath first..hai..

aaahh! i got a pimple on my cheek!
how on earth did it get there so fast!? grrrrrrr..
to think i was amused by how eugenia got a papercut on her cheek just moments ago!
-frownz-

what a wasted day..talk about being lifeless..
i was desperate to the extent that i finally remembered to discover that site - www.talkingcock.com!
kinda lame..but quite funny! -heh-

watching football now..arsenal leading newcastle 1-0..my budbud supports arsenal so i suppose she'll be happy..

eyes hurt..must be the glare from the monitor..better get off before i go blind.. -touchwood-

good night..
-addy yawnz-

ps i had to wait till after midnight to post this..else it will look like i've had nothing better to do the whole day but blog..
just to make myself feel better actually.. -sheepish look-

"Darkness to Light" updated with 1 new poem..

life is such a bore..it's either that or i'm just hard to satisfy..

at work, i think about when i can get some sleep..all the time!
at home, i sit in front of the computer and stare blankly..sleep? not even an option!
night, still maintaining sentry over the computer, dinner (getting colder by the minute) by my side..
before i sleep, i think about the birthday cards (DOH!)..
-blank-
i wake up the next day and the cycle goes on..

thankfully, things are starting to pick up at work..well not exactly..more a case of neglect and compensate..
don't know if it's a blessing in disguise..
i look forward to the ping-pong sessions at 4.30pm though..gives me a chance to work out my brain once a day..
oh then again, i really shouldn't have told you about the ping-pong! -zip-

btw, did i mention that i'm getting pretty good at it?

it's been two weeks since my birthday (well almost!) and yet..every night before i go to bed something keeps me awake a while..
the lack of birthday cards this year..
i mean..i got lots of sms..but how many sms-es can you keep?
maybe everyone is just busy, plus the economy is bad..so an sms counts for a card..
then again, are birthday cards all that important?
does a birthday card mean that the sender care for you?
maybe not..
but when you open the mailbox day after day after day in hope..
not even daring to contemplate that your closest friends probably did not send you a card this year.. ..

well..i made up my mind that they were probably too busy with other stuff..
but it hurts all the same..somehow..
how appropriate then..that one of my more popular poems in recent times is "shifting through times"..
beautifully ironic..

i've decided..next year..no more mailbox inspections..no more keen anticipation..
afterall, the higher your expectations, the harder the fall..
and i've the bruises to remember this lesson by..

hope i can sleep well tonight..
with the knowledge that at least i've not been forgotten..
yet.. ...

another email from a "secret admirer" website!
another nameless wonder!
she's supposed to be 20-24 yrs old
have black hair
black eyes
thinks that a perfect first date is a picnic in a park..
brilliant!
and i had to fill in over 20 fictitious email addresses to get those clues!
or were they?
maybe that's how such mails come to me..
someone just needed a clue and my username just conveniently popped to mind..
just like how those 20 over email addresses came to my mind..
that must be it!
no secret admirer!

i never believed in such things anyway..
which makes me wonder..
who would think of "ysiang" for one of their fictitious addresses?
hmm..

..patience..

life requires patience..
work requires patience..
play requires patience..
love requires patience..

patience, i have..
patience, is wearing thin.. ...

lots of re-arrangements here..
still very dis-satisfied with the results..ok..not really dis-satisfied but things can be improved on!
added 4 new links..ok 3, considering one is to another one of my own sites! =P
plus there's now a place for comments -deadpans- "powered by haloscan!" on all 3 sites!
-in a bimbo voice- isn't that great?!
so now you can tell me what you think about my rubbish poems and rubbish reviews!
urm..no refunds for any cd you bought and didn't like alrite?

spurs drew last nite..1 win in 29 matches against chelsea...
hmm..if that's some record..i wonder about my record of watching spurs matches!
can't seem to count the number of spurs victories i've actually witness!
oh wait..there should be 2 or 3 out of maybe urm...100?
gosh! -holds head-

tired of typing..there's work to be done!
after i'm done dreaming of witnessing a 4th spurs victory that is!

cheers!
addy

came back at 2am last nite..slept close to 4am after labouring through man utd labouring with southampton...
and trying to bore my dear budbud to sleep..didn't work though..hmm..

feeling a little stoned..i always am when i sleep late..dunno why..
is this what happens to most people?
singaporeans never seem stoned..
how else do they chase for mrts and get caught in the doors?
or cut bus queues and withstand all the eye contact and not care?
why do they even bother teaching their kids courtesy?
whoops! wo(3) li(2) ti(2) le(3) -sheepish look-

anyway, my stomach dun seem to be any bigger than yesterday or for that matter the days before...
after 2 colonel burgers, slacking at the pool tables, satay and chicken wings at east coast park lagoon hawker centre...
aaahh, must be that silly walk down bedok jetty!
not that i'm complaining..
after all the abuse chris and raymond had to take from me the whole night! heh..
it was a nice brain workout overall! =)

still feeling stoned..must be that brain workout i was talking about..
going to "warm down" now..

cheers!
adrian

ps i love raymond..
he is the only one who lets me make fun of (most of the time) and doesn't retaliate.
just makes funny noises, funny faces and slaps himself.
now that's what i call a really cool guy!

finally, the pictures are up at the Singapore Spurs Supporters Club website!
these pictures were taken at the Chelsea 5-a-side tournament.
the SSSC sent in 4 teams..
please don't even ask me how my team did..
unless of course your ear drums need some exercise! =P





can you spot me?
how about that newpaper guy, ernest luis?

finally the exams are over!
promised myself after today's paper that i will work harder next semester!
hopefully not for the same subjects! -cross fingers-

still something is worrying me... ...

my spending for october is really getting out of hand...
i don't need so many CDs!!
well, i guess that's nothing new! =P
but how can anyone not listen to Badly Drawn Boy?
and Foo Fighters?
and Richard Ashcroft?
and Nirvana?
ok..most can..wished i could...

btw..did i mention that there's this compilation "1 Love" that's really good as well???

ok..i've sinned again..
the moment i promised myself to study..
i go and make a blog for my music reviews..
sigh..when am i going to learn?
-knocks his head against the computer-

anyway..do take a look at get altered!

=P
cheers!
addy

exam is looming/ but here i am a blog, i'm creating/
something's got into me/ stressed? or a stress relief?/
ok, enough here/ i'm starting to feel a fear/
i'm going to pass my exam/ just like that, KAZAM! -snaps fingers-