DEpressing DEcember!

what a way to start a brand new month..ok it's not the new month YET but it's always good to make advance plans ain't it?
still haven't snapped out of my depression yet..
been some time since i last felt like this..if only i can remember what i did to cure myself of it!
how ironic then that my current catchphrase is "brilliant"!
then again, life is one big irony isn't it?

start of lessons again this week..i hope to have more discipline this time around and start attending lessons religiously..well..hopefully!
next monday is job posting day..or so everyone at work is saying..hope it won't be me who gets posted to bukit gombak..hopefully!
thursday..results for my 2 papers coming out..hope i pass..just a 50/100 will do just fine..i know i did not study much but..hopefully!

my colleagues have been irritating..whistling that silly carlsberg tune all day..don't they know that song's passé?!
and some of them even think it's a new song especially composed for carlsberg!..goodness!
it doesn't help that class 95 broadcasts it every half hour..cuz every time they hear it, they start with the whistling again!
sheesh!

1.56pm..decide to be precise today..so not rounding off! =P
there're things to do..but i've yet to decide which to do!
should i 1) join kenneth for pool, 2) go for my class or 3) go back to reading my story book?
first things first though..gotta get that carlsberg tune out of my head!

i hate you baby, no it is not alright..
i hate you baby, i hear you even at night..
i hate you baby,
baby please get out of my head...

for goodness' sakes!

Oh Harry!

just returned from the magic wonderland of Hogwarts -dreamy look-
well, actually i just got home from marina square! =P
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets..
i've heard so much about it from friends and colleagues..
comments ranging from boring to "gotta watch!"
(hmm..that Singing In The Rain song suddenly popped into my mind "GOTTA DANCE!!!" -tap tipity tap-)
anyway, the movie has been kept very much true to the book..
and the effects were still as fasinating..it's like the characters and everything else just popped out of the book itself!
the producers even had the mind to remove parts like the sorting ceremony so that it doesn't repeat what has already been shown in the first installment.
the only minus point may be that the storyline is a little hard to catch..especially for those who haven't watched the first installment and haven't read the book
(my colleague actually slept in the middle of the show! or so he says!)
overall, it's a little long but then, i cannot think of any part i would like removed! =P
definitely one of those shows i wouldn't mind watching again..any takers?
-hintz-
lol

Open Letter to my "Sister"

why do you make blur the line that i've so painstakingly drawn?
i know i'm not supposed to feel a thing but..
well, i don't know what to feel right now really..
i wished you would give me a sign or something..
but then again, why would you give me a sign when there was no intention on your part?
i'm oh so confused all over again..

guess i've to make bold the line that i've drawn to stop myself stepping over it..
so that you cannot blur it for me..
unless..
of course, you decide to step over to my side...

Singing In The Rain was not too bad..but not too good either. of course that's comparing it with Phantom of The Opera and Les Miserable! Overall the casting wasn't exactly strong..i love Cosmo (is that how you spell his name?!) though..he's so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute! =P and i loved it when Don Lockwood kicked water off the stage! that was good..though some guy in the front row apparently got angry. it seemed his spirits were terribly dampened! lol...

spent (virtually) the whole night at the beach with kenneth and yaling talking cuz i was feeling down..then it had to rain! and trust me, it was not so much fun freezing in the rain!! well, not exactly in the rain but we were freezing nonetheless (exept kenneth whom i suspect is beginning to lose his sense of feel!).

6am..came home amidst the heavy downpour..been a day of irony for me..mind is very blank now..and that Hanson song keeps replaying in my mind isn't it strange/ how we all feel a little bit weird sometimes?..

11pm...it's not exactly a brilliant start to the week...
finally finished The Rotter's Club by Jonathan Coe...nice book...dunno why i took so long to complete it though...
just found out three friends have found new sparks in their lives...
i wish them well and am truly happy for them...
in fact..i'm a little envious as well...sigh...

wished someone could teach me to be strong...

finally, the work week has ended..
i hate this later shift..1.30pm - 10pm..
i wake up, idle a while..then it's time for work..
i don't even know what time i should have my lunch!
so most of the time i just skip it! =P
when i knock off, it's so late, i don't feel like going anywhere..

saturdays are worse..11am - 3pm..and i don't drive to work on saturdays!
so when i get home it's ard 4pm and that's basically a quater of my weekend gone! =(
but my work is relaxed compared to other bases so..
thou shalt be grateful..amen!

it's been another see-saw week..i think i'm too emotional..
things don't happen around me at all! but my mind is throwing up new mysteries all the time..
i think about things that have past..and i think about things that have not yet happened (and may never happen!).
it's a neverending process i tell you..
so please be considerate and never ask me what i'm thinking about cuz..i can't tell you if i don't really know myself!

last but not least, i realise i'm really growing into this blog thing..
which is good in a way that i can write out my thoughts (at least those that i can make sense of!)..
unlike poetry where i have to write out how i feel and then phrase them properly..or it'll sound like crap..
i cannot stand crap..even if it's just mainly for myself..
then again..especially if it's mainly for myself!
anyway, i think i needed the break from writing poems..the last few were really rubbish..

arsenal vs spurs tonight..we should be in for a real good thrashing..
no..not because we are lousier than arsenal..but..
because yours truly is gonna be by the telly supporting his beloved spurs..
come on you spurs! -hopeful look-

very happy now..i represented my flight and scored 6 goals in street soccer at my squadron's annual sports meet!
we won the first match 3-1 and the second 7-1!
to think that at first i wasn't scheduled to go for this competition because of my shift..
then i had to get the flu on sunday..till today my nose is still dripping! =(
but i kinda heckcared everything else and put my best into it.

the atmostphere was electric..everytime i scored, my whole flight cheered..even those whom i have never seen before!
even my OC (officer in command) - whom i never had a very good impression of - high-fived me once when i scored!
even after the matches, all the congratulations came pouring in..even heard that the highest ranked guy - our CO (commanding officer) - asked about me!
-woah!-

everything is still so clear..all that "ooh"ing and "aah"ing and "YEAH!"
i'm only thankful i had the chance to soak in such an atmosphere..
the feeling that everyone is behind you and you are uniting the whole flight together..
for that i have to thank my colleague, chunchyi for pestering and pursuading me to go..
(hey! he even offered to sacrifice his place in the team just because i was doubtful that i'll get the chance to play!!)
and of course all 4 of my teammates who worked their soaks off as well for making this experience so unforgettable..
cheers to all!

very tired now..got a blister on my second toe..have a bruise on my knee..my throat is sore..my nose is still stuck...
but all worth it..
like my nuer said..dreams do come true..
even if it is as insignificant as a squadron street soccer competition..

listening to tommy page's i think i'm in love..brings back lots of memories..
remembered crying along to this song during one of my breakups..
remembered crying when i was confused..
suddenly feel like crying again..
alright..i'm a sentimental freak..hai..

everything's wrong..stayed home the whole sunday..because it rained the whole day!
wish i could walk under the rain and get soaked and forget all my troubles for a while..
always did enjoy those times under the rain..hai..

feel a sore throat coming up..
nose getting a little runny..
not very good signs..
think i'll sleep early tonight..but i've been sleeping the whole day!
think i'll go take a bath first..hai..

aaahh! i got a pimple on my cheek!
how on earth did it get there so fast!? grrrrrrr..
to think i was amused by how eugenia got a papercut on her cheek just moments ago!
-frownz-

what a wasted day..talk about being lifeless..
i was desperate to the extent that i finally remembered to discover that site - www.talkingcock.com!
kinda lame..but quite funny! -heh-

watching football now..arsenal leading newcastle 1-0..my budbud supports arsenal so i suppose she'll be happy..

eyes hurt..must be the glare from the monitor..better get off before i go blind.. -touchwood-

good night..
-addy yawnz-

ps i had to wait till after midnight to post this..else it will look like i've had nothing better to do the whole day but blog..
just to make myself feel better actually.. -sheepish look-

"Darkness to Light" updated with 1 new poem..

life is such a bore..it's either that or i'm just hard to satisfy..

at work, i think about when i can get some sleep..all the time!
at home, i sit in front of the computer and stare blankly..sleep? not even an option!
night, still maintaining sentry over the computer, dinner (getting colder by the minute) by my side..
before i sleep, i think about the birthday cards (DOH!)..
-blank-
i wake up the next day and the cycle goes on..

thankfully, things are starting to pick up at work..well not exactly..more a case of neglect and compensate..
don't know if it's a blessing in disguise..
i look forward to the ping-pong sessions at 4.30pm though..gives me a chance to work out my brain once a day..
oh then again, i really shouldn't have told you about the ping-pong! -zip-

btw, did i mention that i'm getting pretty good at it?

it's been two weeks since my birthday (well almost!) and yet..every night before i go to bed something keeps me awake a while..
the lack of birthday cards this year..
i mean..i got lots of sms..but how many sms-es can you keep?
maybe everyone is just busy, plus the economy is bad..so an sms counts for a card..
then again, are birthday cards all that important?
does a birthday card mean that the sender care for you?
maybe not..
but when you open the mailbox day after day after day in hope..
not even daring to contemplate that your closest friends probably did not send you a card this year.. ..

well..i made up my mind that they were probably too busy with other stuff..
but it hurts all the same..somehow..
how appropriate then..that one of my more popular poems in recent times is "shifting through times"..
beautifully ironic..

i've decided..next year..no more mailbox inspections..no more keen anticipation..
afterall, the higher your expectations, the harder the fall..
and i've the bruises to remember this lesson by..

hope i can sleep well tonight..
with the knowledge that at least i've not been forgotten..
yet.. ...

another email from a "secret admirer" website!
another nameless wonder!
she's supposed to be 20-24 yrs old
have black hair
black eyes
thinks that a perfect first date is a picnic in a park..
brilliant!
and i had to fill in over 20 fictitious email addresses to get those clues!
or were they?
maybe that's how such mails come to me..
someone just needed a clue and my username just conveniently popped to mind..
just like how those 20 over email addresses came to my mind..
that must be it!
no secret admirer!

i never believed in such things anyway..
which makes me wonder..
who would think of "ysiang" for one of their fictitious addresses?
hmm..

..patience..

life requires patience..
work requires patience..
play requires patience..
love requires patience..

patience, i have..
patience, is wearing thin.. ...

lots of re-arrangements here..
still very dis-satisfied with the results..ok..not really dis-satisfied but things can be improved on!
added 4 new links..ok 3, considering one is to another one of my own sites! =P
plus there's now a place for comments -deadpans- "powered by haloscan!" on all 3 sites!
-in a bimbo voice- isn't that great?!
so now you can tell me what you think about my rubbish poems and rubbish reviews!
urm..no refunds for any cd you bought and didn't like alrite?

spurs drew last nite..1 win in 29 matches against chelsea...
hmm..if that's some record..i wonder about my record of watching spurs matches!
can't seem to count the number of spurs victories i've actually witness!
oh wait..there should be 2 or 3 out of maybe urm...100?
gosh! -holds head-

tired of typing..there's work to be done!
after i'm done dreaming of witnessing a 4th spurs victory that is!

cheers!
addy

came back at 2am last nite..slept close to 4am after labouring through man utd labouring with southampton...
and trying to bore my dear budbud to sleep..didn't work though..hmm..

feeling a little stoned..i always am when i sleep late..dunno why..
is this what happens to most people?
singaporeans never seem stoned..
how else do they chase for mrts and get caught in the doors?
or cut bus queues and withstand all the eye contact and not care?
why do they even bother teaching their kids courtesy?
whoops! wo(3) li(2) ti(2) le(3) -sheepish look-

anyway, my stomach dun seem to be any bigger than yesterday or for that matter the days before...
after 2 colonel burgers, slacking at the pool tables, satay and chicken wings at east coast park lagoon hawker centre...
aaahh, must be that silly walk down bedok jetty!
not that i'm complaining..
after all the abuse chris and raymond had to take from me the whole night! heh..
it was a nice brain workout overall! =)

still feeling stoned..must be that brain workout i was talking about..
going to "warm down" now..

cheers!
adrian

ps i love raymond..
he is the only one who lets me make fun of (most of the time) and doesn't retaliate.
just makes funny noises, funny faces and slaps himself.
now that's what i call a really cool guy!

finally, the pictures are up at the Singapore Spurs Supporters Club website!
these pictures were taken at the Chelsea 5-a-side tournament.
the SSSC sent in 4 teams..
please don't even ask me how my team did..
unless of course your ear drums need some exercise! =P





can you spot me?
how about that newpaper guy, ernest luis?

finally the exams are over!
promised myself after today's paper that i will work harder next semester!
hopefully not for the same subjects! -cross fingers-

still something is worrying me... ...

my spending for october is really getting out of hand...
i don't need so many CDs!!
well, i guess that's nothing new! =P
but how can anyone not listen to Badly Drawn Boy?
and Foo Fighters?
and Richard Ashcroft?
and Nirvana?
ok..most can..wished i could...

btw..did i mention that there's this compilation "1 Love" that's really good as well???