Monday, September 25, 2006

once upon a rainy monday morning..

i have been feeling really down these days..just sudden bursts of depression..over what? over i don't know..there is no real certainty for me to pinpoint why this is even happening..but whilst i'm at it, i'd like to get some things off my chest..

i'm sorry ah gong..i'm sorry i wasn't there for you during your final days..you have always taken care of me the best you knew..and yet in your last hours and days after you've passed, i wasn't there for you..i'm feel so ungrateful..i hope heaven has a translator so that you will know what i'm saying..i love you..

i'm sorry kare-bear..i'm sorry things turned out the way they have..i know you will say it wasn't really anyone's fault..but i could have been more understanding and less demanding..funny how it was only afterwards that we began spending more constructive time together and how i started going to church regularly..i guess one can say that everything that have happened since february are like little blessings in disguise..it feels weird sometimes..like we haven't really broken out of our little routines with each other..but i'm really really glad and blessed at the same time that we've found someone else within each other..

i'm sorry ms ning..i'm sorry that you feel that way about me..no matter what i hope that you're happier..

i'm sorry jinxy..i'm sorry that i do not have enough love, energy or courage at this moment..thank you for taking time out to care though..i really appreciate that..

lastly, sorry to anyone else i've not treated well enough or have neglected..i am too emotional, too weak and too not-myself anymore..sad songs get me really down..over what? over i don't know..and if you see me, don't ask me why? like i've said before, i have nothing to say..

so good morning to you..and good night to the world..sweet dreams..

lots of love,
hugs,
and kisses,
addy

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well I guess I was like you, probably still am now.

I don't have anything much to contribute here, but I learnt one thing over my past period of depression(and also from reading certain stuff online. That is; God will break a man before He uses him. It's about giving up things, and learning to place God 1st. I'm still in transition with that, but life's good when you have the correct perspective.

As always, I might not seem like it but I'm quite aware of what's going on(usually). So feel free to text or msn me anytime. =)

Cher said...

*mondo hugs*

Anonymous said...

hugs and kisses back! you know you'll bounce back, out of this pit. love.

Anonymous said...

sorry, my comment has gone to Sunday. Don't know how to do this, but learn thro' mistakes, right.