all that durian..

i think my body's going a bit crazy..even gab was like "are you sure?" when i went round looking for a milo bar (that is, after lunch at karen's place and two buns from four leaves).. then after footie, i got home, had dinner, met kenneth and jinx, had teh-peng (iced teh) and after that, we met aileen and had a durian supper at geylang! weight check as of this morning..no change leh! where have all the food gone!!

when i reached home, i was so totally exhausted (as my friends will tell you, i ain't no night owl!)..but i couldn't sleep until about 2-3am! argh! all that durian.. for the whole of today, i've been a bit brain dead..yes even during my interview this morning..but it's finance and i don't really want to go back into that so it's not so bad.. after that i tried to call my agent to tell her i wasn't taking the singtel call centre job and..

addy: may i speak to kaye?

someone else: kaye's in a meeting right now..can i help you?

addy: eh..urm..uh..what (i wanted to ask what time would she be back)..urm..eh..how (how long would the meeting last?)..urrr..i..uh..(that took about a minute i should think, before..) it's alright i'll call back later!

on hindsight i should have just given my name and asked her to call me back..bah..just wanted to whine a little before my telemarketing assignment..may "top up" later..addy out!

addy says..
never eat durians on the eve of an interview..

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in relation to my eating habits..i've gone on a cd rampage (shit!)..been a long time since i lost control..think a part of it is due to stress? i have no bladdy idea stress over what..body stress? mental stress? stressed over the job hunt? stressed over finances? stressed over my sickness? stressed over stress? or maybe i've just too much damn free time (which the telemarketing assignment will help solve a little!)..

casualties (within the past month or two):

alicia keys: the diary of (secondhand)
cher: the greatest hits (secondhand)
kd lang: ingenue (secondhand)
kt tunstall: eye to the telescope
lene marlin: lost in a moment
silje nergaard: the essential
chris tomlin: ...arriving
ed harcourt: the beautiful lie
morrissey: live at earl's court
thom yorke: the eraser
delirious?: cutting edge 3 and 4
delirious?: the mission bell
electrico: hip city
human nature: here and now (secondhand)
keane: under the iron sea
longpigs: mobile home (secondhand)
muse: black holes and revelations
razorlight: razorlight
republica: republica (secondhand)
the automatic: raoul ep
the cure: wish (secondhand)
the departure: dirty words
the feeling: twelve stops and home
the kills: no wow
various artists: alternative love songs (secondhand)
various artists: top 25 praise songs (secondhand)
various artists: wow worship (secondhand)
jolin tsai: j-top
jj lin: haven (secondhand)
jj lin: cao cao

for those hungry wolves out there..no i am not ripping anything out for you!
pay me to!

---

complain column..

addy wishes to bring three p.a. charges against jinxy for:

physical attack
- for all the piaks on the back (my cough cured already hor) and that right hook in my ribs!

personal attack
- suan me leh!

psychological attack
- by calling me lame and then laughing at what i say confuses me and..when i threaten to drop you off along the expressway, you are not supposed to negotiate the location or laugh, that confuses me as well!!

cough cough..bye bye!

my cough's almost gone..yes! actually, it has been getting better since last sunday..not sure how but it just suddenly got better..

maybe it's..

1. my aunt's back-whacking..yes she literally whacked me all over my back! it's supposed to clear the phlegm by the way..

her: -piak piak piak-

addy: haha..cough cough..hahaha..cough cough..

her: don't laugh!

addy: oorh..cough cough..

2. my grandma's miracle massage with the hong you (hokkien for medicated oil)..and you should really stop picturing her doing that whole shaolin thing! not so drama k!

or

3. sunday's church service..praise God..

whichever it was, i'm just glad the cough's over.. now xp and jinxy, don't come buddy buddy with me until you girls are nice and cured hor? :P

---

quotes of the day courtesy of..roland!

"i think i got even more fair lo~"
addy says: dude soon you'll be transparent!!

"hmm.. maybe.. but i think you got the charisma to charm ppl!.. ;D"
addy says: is that why you always hug me when you see me?

it's nice talking to roland..he's always so cheerful and carefree.. even when you're having a bad day, just talking to him can somehow soften the blow a little.. since we're on him, here are just three things about roland..

1. he is one blur dude.. either that or his acting has been damn consistent throughout the years!

2. he is usually in white.. no no not him! there's this rumour that ninety percent (maybe more!) of his wardrobe is made up of white t-shirts!

3. he hugs me.. everytime he sees me without fail! till today i still ask myself..why? sam and raymond are so much more cuddly!

my aunt writes too!

was just talking to my aunt edna about writing..she writes poetry too..and her stuff is really cool as well.. we both agreed that writing is not so much an expression of what we really feel about things in general..but it's more an expression of what we were feeling in a particular moment.. it's like if i had just written an angry poem, it doesn't mean that i am an angry person most of the time..it just means that i had anger to burn in that particular instance and it so reflects in my poetry.. though it may not seem so, poems are like entries in a diary..they help us remember those little moments in time when we put down our emotions into words.. the beautiful thing is, unlike diaries and blogs, the structure of poems mean that they can connect with a whole lot people and yet mean so many different things depending on their own interpretation of the poems..

today for those who are sick and tired of my poems, here's one which is written by my aunt (or at least i think it is!)..and for those who are sick of poems in general, oh well, bear with it then..

My dear child, do not despair
People say that life is unfair
But I say, we all have our share
of happiness and wealth, do not compare

Love will come, love will go
I don't want to say, I told you so
Memories of past, do not hold
Bright future about to unfold

All that is broken, let it be
Tears blind you, you can't see
Lock away the past, throw away the key
Jump for joy, yes, you are free

The world has so much to offer you
Grab all you can, not just a few
Open your heart, your life's renewed
Can you feel it, oh, isn't it thrill?

just a ghost

went for an interview with sistic today for a customer service position..thought it went pretty well..but throughout the interview i had this empty feeling inside like "what am i doing here?".. also realised today that sistic though an established brand, is a pretty small company..that's besides the point isn't it? the thing is since monday, my mind is pretty darn determined to get that ibm job..for those who do not know yet, despite my initial worries, my interview with anne, the ibm manager went well and i thought we really connected in terms of our expectations.. now it's just a matter of waiting for the second interview..anyway, with regards to the ibm position, my dad had this to say..

dad: i spoke with my friend and you have a pretty good chance..

addy: who did you speak to? what did you say?

dad: you needn't bother about that..i did not mention who you are..

what the!

false hopes..argh..no more no more..this better not be another case of the "fullerton blues"!

---

in keeping with my writing mood, here's another one for the scrapbook..actually, i have lots of ideas on my mind which will probably appear here in the coming days..do protest if you've had enough yeah? ironic i should write this then realise "this is the chinese seventh month isn't it? ooo..freaky..

why do you hide in the shadows?
like you're still in my life but as a ghost
watching me from afar
while i wonder how you are
while i stumble and i fall and i wait for you
but no hand reaches out to raise this fool
why then show concern for me
yet pretend to be anonymous to me?
why do you even care
about my obstacles and how i fare?
walk away since you've chosen to leave
don't give me hope which i will not receive
don't keep me looking among the shadows
for the person who got too close
who followed her heart and fell in love
but chose to remain just a ghost

addy (26 july 2006)

Copyright AD© All Rights Reserved 2006.

it's funny (how love works)

recently, quite a number of my friends are getting into this friend or lover situation..so this kind of came into my head..

it's funny how love works
hiding in the corners we never expect it to lurk
how friends can turn suddenly into lovers
how an ordinary hug can become something more precious
when saying goodbye makes you feel a sense of loss
glancing at the phone regularly to check for missed calls
but there is a line drawn, so how can it be
that friends can turn into lovers so easily?
did someone accidentally step over the line?
or was this part of the plan the whole time?
that things would end up this way
how your eyes would meet, and you'd both feel the same way
funny how love sneaks up on us sometimes
it's like cupid fired his arrows while we weren't looking behind
of course, you can walk away and you can reject it
or you can be loved if you just accept it
it's funny, this wasn't supposed to happen
but since when did love ever need a logical explanation?

addy (25 july 2006)

don't take this as my advice..just take it as something nice..

say what?

this must be the funniest thing i've heard in a long while..

my father to my aunt (in a deadpan voice):

i am very adaptable to change

say what? (?!?!?!)

coming from the same person who told me "for what?" (or words to that effect) when the pager first came out..then who told me not to waste money on a handphone because he was (ironically) contented with the pager.. that is not even mentioning the fact that he still isn't familiar with and refuse to learn the basic uses of the internet..

and those are just the more "memorable" examples..we are talking about the same sort of change here..right dad?

cough cough

Just a few short updates,

1. Caught pirates of the caribbean with karen on sunday..now i'm like so in love with johnny depp! i think karen prefers orlando bloom though..hmm..anyway the movie was really cool..until the end which really got us "huh? what the!"


2. Went for a few interviews over the past few days - M1, SingTel, and Strategic Partners (whoever they are!)..have two more interviews lined up for next week - IBM and Sistic..

I don't really know if i am really ready to start work but i've reached a stage where i've had enough of moping and feeling sorry for myself..cuz even if i stand still here and cry, the world carries on turning..the cruel reality is, time waits for no one..so this is what i'm doing, moving on.. Anyway, i've had to reject SingTel because the pay was crappy..though the more critical consideration is that i have the IBM interview lined up and SingTel wanted an answer by today which really isn't too possible.. Apparently timing isn't my strongest point these days (in most areas of my life).. But i trust that God will watch over me and guide me and something will work out soon.. Anyway, back to the updates..

3. Managed to postpone my reservist till december so that's one thing off my mind and it's all clear for my job hunt..

4. Still coughing..two and half weeks after i fell ill! how can! oh well, at least i have the jinx for company! think she caught the cold from me at cold-play! :P

jinxy n i at coldplay

5. Been creating lots of impromptu rhymes in my head and i get so carried away thinking of line after line that i forget everything after that! That's why it's called impromptu i suppose..anyway, here's an example..

i've been creating lots of impromptu rhymes of late
just these few random thoughts running through my head
some make sense, others not so much so
but line after line they just follow
until i reach a point when i lose track
that's when i realise i cannot even get the first line back
so i leave it, i let it be
and i think of another rhyme, and i forget it again, completely!

6. Lastly, my computer is back! and that's why i'm here! :)

---

Another one of addy's unquotable quotes (don't try this at home!)
"Why settle for one fish in the entire ocean when you can find a mermaid?"

addy's guide to weight loss

football uncle1: hey adrian, you look like you lost weight man.

football uncle2: yeah, you look skinnier!

addy: had been sick since last wednesday la.. (and.. was doing late nights around pubs and clubs the previous week and.. getting less sleep in the process and.. getting pissed off by some fucking irresponsible surveyors and.. was seriously depressed for the past 2 weeks..)

football uncle1: you better take care man.

addy: yep..thanks. (no more late nights around pubs and clubs and.. getting much more sleep in the process and.. i'm rid of those fucking irresponsible surveyors and.. no longer so seriously depressively depressed.. oh and did i mention that coldplay rocked so hard, they nearly blew my cough away?)

for the record, i lost 3kg..

---

i think my old temper is starting to creep back out..so don't get on my wrong side, whoever..

.. ..that'd have to be the left (you had to ask!)..

---

i still amuse you (don't deny it!).. which is..nice.. nothing more nothing less.. just nice..

..this time, take me to the end of time before you kick me off the edge will ya?

I'm In Love With Chris Martin!

Didn't really know how to feel when yesterday finally came along..for one i had been sick since last wednesday..yes, that's six days (seven, if you considered i haven't fully recovered today!)! But on the brighter side of things, coldplay were finally back in singapore!!

From the moment the band appeared on stage till they took their final bows, both the sold-out crowd and the band were relentless making the one and the half hours pass by in a flash. Every song the band played, the crowd sang along making every single song an anthem in its own right - from the crowd rockers "yellow", "speed of sound", "in my place" to mellower tunes like "what if", "the scientist" and "fix you". While the band was very much a cohesive unit throughout, chris martin so totally dominated the stage with his dynamism! When he was not at the piano, he was prancing from the left to the right to the front and back of the stage..during the ending of "in my place", he ran the full length of the indoor stadium to the sitting area directly across stage, sang while balancing himself off the rails with fans mobbing him and then ran back onto the stage again at the end of the song..jingxian and i were like "he can really run man!" I can't really describe the feeling it was like last night..maybe fucking fanta-bulous is just right..but you'd have to be there to know it! At the end, it was sad when they had to leave but believe me, it was one hell of a night! :)


After the concert, jinxy and i went to geylang to have supper..wah, the bean curd syrup is a killer for the throat man! but who cares..nothing is going to spoil this night for me! Depression? Sickness? Come back another day my dears..addy is with chris martin (and jinxy of course!) tonight..

* For more concert photos, check out jinxy's blog!

Soundtrack Of Our Lives

Our theme song..
"Oh when we woke up that morning we had no way of knowing that in a matter of hours we'd change the way we were going..Where would i be now if we never met? Would i be singing this song to someone else instead? I dunno but like you just said..Something changed.."

The one you loved to whine to..
"Nobody loves me..it's true.."

The one which nearly changed our lives..
"Because you're gorgeous..I'd do anything for you.."

The one you loved to shout at the top of your lungs to..
"Don't leave me high..Don't leave me dry.."

The one which describes us now..
"Strike up the band let it play
Love songs to haunt me and i will stay
But when it comes to a waltz
Both words and music will ring false

Cos you waltzed in
And spun my world
Around in dizzy dance i swirl
But suddenly you waltzed away from me

Those violins they must go
So no careless hand with a bow
May play on the strings on my heart
And make me remember how lovers part

How you waltzed in
And spun my world
Around in dizzy dance i swirled
But suddenly you waltzed away from me

Strike up the band let it play
Whatever it chooses and i'll say
Play me a waltz if you will
I'll sit here and listen waiting until

My love returns
To take my world
And spin it round in dizzy swirl
Where girl loves boy and boy loves girl
And feet don't touch the ground"

The one you loved most..
"May God take me first..For better or worse..I love you.."

And last but not least..the one i hated most..
"The Starhub subscriber you're looking for is currently unavailable..Please try again later.."

ARGH!

Do you think i'm too nice and too trusting? Does the words "Step on me Please!" flash big on my forehead? Why then are people hurting me so much these days and then saying "sorry addy"..honestly, if you knew you were going to hurt me, save your apologies on someone else. Now that i think of it, it's kind of silly..silly to put my wholehearted trust in the surveyors i recruited for my pub assignment..people whom i hardly know and mostly won't recall when i see them on the streets..but i guess that's just me isn't it? Everyone deserves a chance, and even a second chance and maybe even one more if i was feeling generous then..to the extent that when they do wrong, i say sorry to them instead..sorry that i couldn't help them more. Maybe it's time i learnt to be more ruthless before society swallows me whole, lets out one big gratifying burp and then i'd just be another piece of shit..

Tired

This week passed like a breeze..it's like i haven't slept..and yet i've been awoken already. Work is really good and i quite enjoy myself though i must say that all the late nights out at the pubs haven't really done me any good. The thing is after all the fun and work is done, when i'm on my way home, the world comes crashing in on me again. So it always is, in the middle of the night after doing my rounds at the pubs and i am physically worn out, all these emotions come rushing and drains me mentally and emotionally. I don't know how much i can handle honestly..i've never been any good in such situations..sure i dish out lovely advice, but i am too emotionally weak to carry them out myself. And it's with that, that i've decided to take the drastic measure..i've decided to leave Research Plus, much as i've enjoyed myself. My colleagues and superiors have all been kind but I just cannot keep hiding behind my work and then getting these breakdowns at the end of the day. I know many will say it's a silly and hasty decision to make but, i'd rather have a chance to regret before i really crack up and go insane. Please don't fight me anymore, anyone..i'm just too tired..

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karen: drink more water and rest lots..get well soon girl..