the face in facebook

helping jana in her assignments on social networking sites has made me become more aware of how superficial sites like facebook can be.

take for example facebook, most people will tell you that it helps them keep in touch with their friends and to seek out long lost classmates and friends. but honestly, among the hundreds of friends in our networks, how many do we actually "keep in touch" with regularly? even if i defined "regularly" as "once a year", i believe more than 50% of our network will still fail to qualify as "regular friends". which means effectively, facebook is just that, a collection of "faces". some we know affectionately, some we work with, some we were close to once upon a time, some a friend of a friend..and some others we have met or spoken to once or twice before and are added to the rest of our friends to beef up our impressive networks. afterall, it does feel good especially when you discover that you are a mutual friend to two or more of your friends whom you know separately. even then, there is only that much such a fact can stretch a conversation...

"oh you know so-and-so too!"...
"wow..how did you know him/her?"...
"that's interesting!"...
"by the way, how have you been?"...
and "well, good to hear you are well, do take care!" or "oh, sorry to hear that. do take care!"

then the friend in question is kept in hibernation until you discover the next mutual friend! maybe it is just me but i am not one for small talk (yup i know, the irony considering my profession).

and with the ever growing network of friends comes the other hassle - what information to expose to who. for example, i'd be crazy to change my status to "adrian facebooks too much in office" when almost half my colleagues are in my network of friends! (ok, if you are a colleague who is reading this, that was just an example. e-x-a-m-p-l-e means something i am using to illustrate my point.) and such is the accessibility of one's profile, your boss gets to actually see you in your seductive poses or in pictures where you are half-drunk, which is not very glamorous or professional unless..of course your boss was the other half in the pictures!

that said, facebook does offer a differentiator in terms of applications and interactivity which has seen the friendster link condemned to the archives or recycle bins in many computers. but while social networking sites continue to evolve, i sincerely hope that friendships do not evolve in tandem - from friends(ter) to just mere face(book)s.

rude rage

a few weeks back, pastor rony mentioned a theory about rude people which i found very meaningful. what he said was that rude people do not usually find themselves rude. but when we retaliate, it is us whom the other party will find rude.

which is true because, while we save our "best vocabulary" for lousy customer service, inconsiderate seat chope-ers, people-who-have-really-weak-limps-and-cannot-even-lift-their-hands-to-press-the-lift-door-open-button and the likes, these people tend to find their behaviour normal (to themselves). but if you reacted in the exact same way to them, they will point out to you that you are being unreasonable or rude. funny eh?

in addition, i'd reason that it is not really worth spending (wasting more like it!) so much energy on these rude people whom i do not know and who are probably getting on just fine with their miserable lives.

so now if someone was being rude to me, i'd tell myself that he/she was being normal (abnormal to the rest of us) or he/she was having a really bad day and just bear with it.

afterall, why stoop to other people's level when we condemn it eh?