Like Toy Soldiers

It's been a long and tiring day..I just got home..and bathed..and turned my computer on..and logged on to blog..You know it's been a tiring day when things like these gets exaggerated! :P Seriously speaking though, it's been a long day..Long but fulfilling day spent at ECP! :)

We (yaling, kenneth and i) met up with jessica and her friends - darren, yili and adrian (not myself obviously!)..While the rest of the guys brought their own equipment - bicycle and roller blades - yaling and i had to rent our bicycles..We as a group went pretty slowly as the guys (darren, yili and jess) weren't pro bladers! That's not to say that they were bad..bad would rear its "ugly head" later..well, soon! Anyway, we moved slowly to bedok jetty where we took a rest and where the afternoon took a drastic turn! darren had been bugging me to blade since we met up at macdonald's and i have been relentless in rejecting his offer..My excuse being that the rest of them could blade and i couldn't (which was a dumb excuse i might add!)..My last few excuses consisted of if kenneth or yaling learnt with me, then i'll go along!..which was not such a bright idea afterall..Since the next thing that happened was, kenneth borrowed darren's blades and started showing his stuff! Which was left with just yaling..So i was thinking, since i myself was slowly being tempted to give it a try, i might as well drag my best bud down with me! :P Wrong move..So it was at the pond at ECP where i had my first feel of roller blading..From the moment we tried on the blades - i borrowed from darren and yaling borrowed from yili - it was pretty clear she could move while i can only struggle! Kaoz..it was pretty hard work at first as i could barely move and there yaling was gliding further and further..But thanks to darren and kenneth especially for being such patient teachers, i could move around better without help, ableit slowly! I shall not describe a particularly "obscene" but amusing moment where darren was attempting to lead me holding my hands but we both fell - with him on top of me!

With our bicycle rental running out, we had to cut short the lesson and return the bicycles..Which was then darren suggested we rented blades! Gosh, this guy is persistent! So we did (kenneth included!)..After lunch, the guys suggested heading out towards the direction of fort road..I was quite amused cuz i could hardly move from the blade rental shop to mac's..lest all the way to fort road! But it turned out a pretty good idea, as i kind of got more used to blading...okay so along the way, there were a few balancing acts by me..but blading became a little more natural..Okay fine, not that natural but less wobbly! Yaling was really patient, staying by me throughout the whole way and teaching me to get over humps (which wasn't easy with blades!) (thanks bud! -hugs-)..by the end of the session (we didn't reach fort road, incidentally and fortunately for me! :P), my legs were kind of wobbling..But i must say it had been a great experience..and i must show off here, i hardly fell throughout the day (once when i turned around to kaypo about another person's collision and once when i went off the pavement towards the shop!)..Not bad for a first timer eh?

After returning the blades, most of us went our separate ways - kenneth fetched yaling home in his lorry, jess and adrian went in a car and yili and myself went to catch a bus to bedok where we had dinner together with one of her friends..and where yili teased me non-stop about my "ballet-blading"! Gosh, if only i could wring her neck!

So now here i am, after dinner and after a long and tiring day..ready to rest my body..So when are we blading again ar? :P

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... ...addy is currently obsessed with Eminem's "Like Toy Soldiers"..step by step..heart to heart..left right left..we all fall down..like toy soldiers..

Merry Christmas!

Something's bothering me..midnight mass wasn't as enjoyable as it should be..Or at least, it should cheer me up..but it didn't..I should be depressed that i spent most of christmas day alone at home..but i wasn't..Something's bothering me..Problem is..What?

Merry Christmas and may the new year bring new beginnings to all!

S' Wonderful..

Took another half day off today..While yesterday was primarily to rush my assignment, which i hope to pass though which i do think is full of crap but which i hope to still pass anyway..A distinction isn't too bad now will it? -blinks-

Went shopping today..Realised last night that i had finally ran out of my trusty forever friends christmas cards..A reason to go shopping and make full use of my accidental half day leave..But besides shopping, i had to buy a bank draft for my final semester in monash..Oh god, it feels good to say that! -ahems- my FINAL semester in monash! Coool..Now all i have to do is pass my modules..Shouldn't be too much of a problem right? :P Christmas cards -tick-, bank draft -tick-..oh yeah..and i also went about preparing well..more like "repairing" ling's birthday present..haha..Didn't realise it was this fun repairing what was supposed to be a perfectly wonderful present..Now i do think it's going to be even more perfectly wonderful! All in all a good day..but not too good for my nets card though -frownz- Oh well..All in the mood of the festive season!

Speaking of which, i feel bad because i only remembered today..4 days later..that it was jessica's birthday..That felt sucky..I thought it was bad that i only remembered jasmin's birthday on the day itself but this is far worse..Hai..I hope it's not part of the "growing old" process..

On a brighter note..remember i was mentioning about the fraudster in my previous entry? Well, i sent out complaints to ebay and paypal and the guy actually refunded me my money! Wow..haha..Being a complain king has its benefits ya know! :P Anyway, it shows just how insincere this guy is..3 weeks later and he offers me a refund because of a negative feedback and a complain..It just shows that he obviously hasn't and had no intentions to send my cd to me anyway! Oh well..all's well that ends well!

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... ...addy is currently obsessed with Diana Krall's "S'Wonderful"..duh! :P

just cuz you feel it.. doesn't mean it's there..

Have you been cheated before? Let me just relate a recent bad personal experience i encountered on eBay..I purchased a cd for what i thought was at a reasonable price..Made my payment immediately..Two days later, the seller emailed me requesting for an extra $6 postage fee..I was quite disturbed by that but since i've already won the item and paid up the original amount, it didn't make sense not to pay him though it would have added up to a ridiculous amount for a second-hand cd..Anyway, it's now been 3 weeks, 2 emails and 1 message through ebay since i've paid this guy and i haven't gotten a response nor the cd..You cannot imagine how pissed off i am..

But the point is..after this incident, i tend to practise caution with auction items i bid for..Here are some pointers:

1. Before bidding, check the sellers past history. And by that i mean REALLY going through all the feedback especially the negative and neutral ones. The fraudulent seller i encountered had a feedback rating of 600 plus and yet such an incident happened. On closer investigation today, i realise that he has used this trick many times before..But what gave him such a high rating is that, not only does he make such affairs less frequent, the people who got conned just gave him a neutral rating..Meaning no one will notice it if they didn't go through the feedback properly!

2.Make sure that the fees for overseas shipping is indicated. If it isn't, ask and clarify before bidding..It is easy for a seller to just quote you an over-the-top postage only for it to be half of what is really necessary.

But despite this unsavoury incident, i still think that places like ebay and yahoo are great places to shop around..Besides stuff you cannot find easily in shops, some of the prices are really quite alright, just have to be careful, that's all! Christmas is around the corner..Happy Shopping!

P.S. don't worry miss ling, your prez is not from the auctions! :P

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... ...addy is currently obsessed with the Coldplay, Radiohead and Diana Krall..

Right on track

12th December 2004, i spent the whole day in camp doing a tiresome duty..but on the other hand, it was not as tiresome as it should be..Not because it was suddenly enjoyable, no..Instead, it's because one year from that date..I'll walk away from this job for good! Freedom never smelled closer..The expectancy of something new and exciting happening..Yet the threat of confusion and unemployment looms..It all comes in a package i suppose..but i'm ready to face the challenge..In one year's time!

That said, another piece of the puzzle fell into place today..Finally got my semester two results back after a two weeks' delay! Got two credits (62 and 63) for my two subjects..which wasn't too bad considering that my assignments were just so-so this last semester..Anyway, the main thing is that it maintains my grades above my target of 60 and keeps me on track to graduate next year!

On a more solemn note, my good friend failed one of his modules by two marks..I helped him write a letter of appeal..Hopefully they will consider his case and let him clear the subject so we can graduate together!

For now, it's time to turn my attention to the job at hand, which is assignment 1 for the module i'm taking this semester "Human Resource Management"..Another step forward..two more semesters and four more subjects to go! Stay by me yeah? Cheers!

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... ...addy is currently obsessed with the new U2 album - How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb.

Something out of nothing

Wrote this yesterday morning..Kind of came out after blogging about it the previous day, which explains some of the familiar lines..

now here is my life, here is my pain
passing my days without sun nor rain
ticking clock, tick, ten seconds later tock
my mind seems dead, maybe just clogged
the dirty orangey fluorescent lights
a faint glow in this neverending night
i fight, i retaliate, i cannot lose
even if i lose my pride, and get bruised
this battle i will not give up, just push on
victory is in sight now, i'll hold on
to whatever little i have, i'll keep safe
to whatever heart there is left, i'll be brave
i take a breath, air ventilated with mold
reminisces of years circulating within this hell hole
not long now, i close my eyes and count to ten
the end is near, i can feel it in my hands
not long now, soon i'll be free
of these god forsaken chains, to be who i need to be

addy 07 dec 2004

To keep up with my current ORD mood, i did up a a whole's schedule pinpointing the public holidays, my exam dates, potential off days and i've come to the conclusion that, it's still a bladdy long way to go! Oh gosh..another thing i did which i wished i didn't do so afterwards! Oh well, no need for regrets..It does feel nice to see the bright yellow highlighted words flashing out at the end of the year "ORD" though!

On a personal note, in response to a blog i just read..I would like to say that you do not need to be a Christian to believe in the magic of Christmas..Just as you do not need to be Chinese to celebrate Chinese New Year or a Singaporean to celebrate National Day..Bear in mind this, as long as there are people who believe, there's a spirit that we all can share in..And the magic of Christmas is, it's recognised as a time for giving and sharing..Life need not always be lived logically..If you apply logic to everything, then you are in for a long miserable experience in life..As for the commercial value of Christmas, it is the same as saying that there's no point in Christmas just because you're not a Christian..It's all superficial..Just remember, it may not make your own day and you may not believe in it..But if you can make someone else's day better by wishing them "Merry Christmas", will you keep happiness to yourself just because of your pride and your disbelief? As a parting note, think about it this way, take a day important to yourself, for example your birthday or an important graduation, others may not find that same day as important as you do..But wouldn't it be nice if someone dropped an sms or give you a phone call to send you his or her regards? My point is..Don't always make a difference to yourself, make a difference in your friends' lives so that they will in turn make a difference in yours!

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... ...addy is currently obsessed with the new Band Aid 20 song "Do They Know It's Christmas?" (featuring Bono, Chris Martin, Robbie Williams, Dido, Joss Stone, Busted, Sugababes, Feeder, Snow Patrol, Fran Healy (from Travis), Justin Hawkes (from The Darkness), Will Young, The Thrills and many more!) - Please buy the original CD single ($10 at gramaphone or hmv) and feed the children of Africa! More info on the artists and the mission of Band Aid on the website..

A little moral fibre for dinner anyone?

Every first monday of the month, i go back to my changi workplace to attend "Safety Day"..Sounds lame? Well, it is! Then again, working for the past 5 years in here, nothing can be that lame anymore..Anyway, on "Safety Day", we are supposed to stop all work, talk safety, discuss where other people went wrong and basically do nothing..Majority of the time is spent on the last mentioned programme! But my point is not to discuss "Safety Day" with you, not that there is a lot to talk about even..Being back at changi reminds me of all the times i've spent working there for the past few years..All the familiar faces, people whom i got along with so well..I feel begrudged sometimes for being posted to somewhere i never wanted to go..Somewhere where the air is different (whatever little air there is in that god-forsaken place!), where the people don't connect on the same wavelength (not that they are bad and all, just feel an invisible barrier..) and where i feel strangled of my freedom and life..Everyday i come back home and i ask myself "What have i done today?"..Nothing registers to mind mainly because that's what i have done that day, everyday since i've been posted there! You can say, "Bring your books to read" or "Study a bit" or "Write your poems"..and i will tell you "Take it from me, in such an environment..it is not very possible!" Just imagine you're stuck in a big classroom with 10 people, all the windows and doors are closed, there's no sunlight, the only light is coming from a few dim dirty orangey fluorescent tubes and the aircon smells of reminisces of poor ventilation of past years..Now imagine you being in there for 1 hour, much less a day and you'll understand a little how i've felt the past few months..And that is why, in a way, i look forward to every "Safety Day", that time of month for a little release from my cell..

I still feel resentful that it's me who made the trip to hell so to speak..but when i think again..Sometimes, rather me than people whom i appreciate as colleagues and friends..Maybe no one will ever see it as a sacrifice or a friendly gesture..Afterall, it was kind of forced onto me, but seeing things this way makes me feel better somehow..I go through this shit everyday just so that none of my other friends have to go through this on their own..Nowadays, i go to work and get into my zombie-mode..yes yes yes nod nod nod..It passes better this way, not knowing what i've been through that day..Wasting my life you say? All i can say in my defense is it's better not knowing you're wasting time which you cannot really improve on..than to know that you're been doing nothing productive during that time and feel guilty afterwards..

So if i ever complain to you that i feel pissed off and depressed in that place..just remind me gently "You did it for your friends Adrian, you did it for the people you love.."

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... ...addy is currently obsessed with the new Band Aid 20 song "Do They Know It's Christmas?" (featuring Bono, Chris Martin, Robbie Williams, Dido, Joss Stone, Busted, Sugababes, Feeder, Snow Patrol, Fran Healy (from Travis), Justin Hawkes (from The Darkness), Will Young, The Thrills and many more!) - Please buy the original CD single ($10 at gramaphone or hmv) and feed the children of Africa! More info on the artists and the mission of Band Aid on the website..