the secret has been hidden for ages..not even the creators of the x-men series or for that matter, professor x are aware of it. a new breed of x-men and x-women have surfaced, surviving outside the comic strips, blending into normal human society. yes, it's true..these "mutants" have been spotted utilising their special powers to do extraordinary things! the only way to recognise them is through their powers, some of which hold certain resemblance to the original x-men's. their new hideout is hidden under the guise of a lower class bustling work area that's none other than..tanjong pagar!
while there is no possible way of identifying every single species of these mutants living among us, here are the more common and easily recognisable ones...
powers similar to:
"cyclops"
most commonly spotted:
inside lifts
(localised) code name:
"cy(ber)-cocks"
this variation of cyclops is certainly more powerful than the original..not only does cy-cocks not require that fancy looking goggle to keep "its" powers under control, "it" fires "its" rays without you even seeing the rays! "it" is usually found right at the front of the building lifts.
how do you identify it?:
wait till the lift doors are nearly closing, then rush in..when you're inside after barely escaping the closing lift doors, turn to the right or left (whichever applicable)..there "it" will be..arms folded (or sometimes by the side), intently firing "its" rays at the "open" button just so that you do not get squashed by the doors! there are times when i felt that "it" should act faster and i stare at "it" to show my displeasure but then i realise that i will never win..if "it" stares back at me, i am finished!
powers similar to:
"jean grey"
most commonly spotted:
during extremely sunny or rainy weather
(localised) code name:
"jin gray" (hokkien for really or extremely gray)
compared to the original jean grey, jin gray is definitely less powerful..not only does "it" require a weapon, "it" depends highly on seasonal weather changes to utilise "its" powers (see "most commonly spotted").
how do you identify it?:
during really sunny or rainy days, as you are walking..suddenly "it" will whip out "its" weapon (usually disguised as an umbrella) and cast a force-field around "itself" sending people scurrying out of "its" way! i am to believe "it" has trained to a certain level that "its" force-field is able to hold off an entire building should the building collapse..just look at the number of force-fields being cast indoors these days and you will know what i mean..we humans are not so easily fooled, surely a normal umbrella cannot withstand the weight of an entire building right?
powers similar to:
"gambit"
most commonly spotted:
during lunch hour
(localised) code name:
"can't beat"
this is the most common and as its localised name implies, also one powerful breed of mutant during the peak of "its" powers..possessing trades very similar to the original gambit. however, due to singapore's legislation on gambling in public and needing to keep a low profile, instead of playing cards, can't beat's weapons of choice are "its" tissue packs! just like gambit, can't beat's powers though impressive are extremely limited.
how do you identify it?:
the story behind "its" name comes from the way "it" attacks..i am sure many of us have fallen victim to "its" attacks before! during lunch hour, have you ever approached a table (with no one even remotely near you) and next thing you know..you get hit by a tissue pack thrown by can't beat! and that's why "it" is named that because "it" always seems to beat you to a table no matter how faraway "it" is..and if you think all "it" does is throw tissue packs around, try removing one of "its" tissue packs and watch "it" explode in your face! apparently, this strain is highly contagious and infects anyone who comes in contact with "its" tissue..thus explaining how even most normal humans are coming to master this skill!
now if you see any of the above mutants around, do not panic, stay calm..they are mostly harmless unless provoked! last i heard, a higher class breed of x-men and x-women have been spotted in raffles place!
while there is no possible way of identifying every single species of these mutants living among us, here are the more common and easily recognisable ones...
powers similar to:
"cyclops"
most commonly spotted:
inside lifts
(localised) code name:
"cy(ber)-cocks"
this variation of cyclops is certainly more powerful than the original..not only does cy-cocks not require that fancy looking goggle to keep "its" powers under control, "it" fires "its" rays without you even seeing the rays! "it" is usually found right at the front of the building lifts.
how do you identify it?:
wait till the lift doors are nearly closing, then rush in..when you're inside after barely escaping the closing lift doors, turn to the right or left (whichever applicable)..there "it" will be..arms folded (or sometimes by the side), intently firing "its" rays at the "open" button just so that you do not get squashed by the doors! there are times when i felt that "it" should act faster and i stare at "it" to show my displeasure but then i realise that i will never win..if "it" stares back at me, i am finished!
powers similar to:
"jean grey"
most commonly spotted:
during extremely sunny or rainy weather
(localised) code name:
"jin gray" (hokkien for really or extremely gray)
compared to the original jean grey, jin gray is definitely less powerful..not only does "it" require a weapon, "it" depends highly on seasonal weather changes to utilise "its" powers (see "most commonly spotted").
how do you identify it?:
during really sunny or rainy days, as you are walking..suddenly "it" will whip out "its" weapon (usually disguised as an umbrella) and cast a force-field around "itself" sending people scurrying out of "its" way! i am to believe "it" has trained to a certain level that "its" force-field is able to hold off an entire building should the building collapse..just look at the number of force-fields being cast indoors these days and you will know what i mean..we humans are not so easily fooled, surely a normal umbrella cannot withstand the weight of an entire building right?
powers similar to:
"gambit"
most commonly spotted:
during lunch hour
(localised) code name:
"can't beat"
this is the most common and as its localised name implies, also one powerful breed of mutant during the peak of "its" powers..possessing trades very similar to the original gambit. however, due to singapore's legislation on gambling in public and needing to keep a low profile, instead of playing cards, can't beat's weapons of choice are "its" tissue packs! just like gambit, can't beat's powers though impressive are extremely limited.
how do you identify it?:
the story behind "its" name comes from the way "it" attacks..i am sure many of us have fallen victim to "its" attacks before! during lunch hour, have you ever approached a table (with no one even remotely near you) and next thing you know..you get hit by a tissue pack thrown by can't beat! and that's why "it" is named that because "it" always seems to beat you to a table no matter how faraway "it" is..and if you think all "it" does is throw tissue packs around, try removing one of "its" tissue packs and watch "it" explode in your face! apparently, this strain is highly contagious and infects anyone who comes in contact with "its" tissue..thus explaining how even most normal humans are coming to master this skill!
now if you see any of the above mutants around, do not panic, stay calm..they are mostly harmless unless provoked! last i heard, a higher class breed of x-men and x-women have been spotted in raffles place!
2 comments:
starting to show off your creative instead of marketing flair??
huh??
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