Cure for?

Just took a panadol..feeling feverish..i know i should get myself to a doctor pronto what with the SARS thing going around but..i'll wait..Wait for? Wait to see if my condition improves and wait for the clinic to open! Doesn't mean that i have to get paranoid, go downstairs and knock down my doctor's front door just because my temperature was a little high..Singapore's weather isn't exactly cooling!

Anyway, the SARS thing seems to be spreading rather fast and no one seems to know how it gets around..first, some specialist said that the disease is not airborne, now they say that it may be air-borne! So who do we believe when the people who are supposed to be the experts contradict themselves? And the symptoms..fever above 38 degrees celsius and/or cough, breathlessness.. Aren't these the symptoms of a normal flu? I mean, if my temperature was below 38, i wouldn't even be seeing a doctor in the first place! So are they implying that whoever runs a fever has SARS? I really have no clue..and i don't think i'm alone in that aspect..What about all that mask wearing thing? False sense of security? Maybe..and who's to say those fanatic air-purifier buyers are wrong when the experts themselves aren't sure!

Times are uncertain these days..Medical experts and politicians all flapping their loose gums all day long on TV! Bush doesn't have his son out in Iraq (hey i can mouth out all that crap about being heroes dying for a good cause too!) and those World Health Oorganisation big shots probably can afford more health care than we do! All those empty promises and "we're trying..blah blah blah" and "it MAY..blah blah blah"! What we want is simple..we want a cure, we want answers we can understand..Saddam is evil? Go find him! Why invade a country and then give all sorts of speeches and excuses no one will believe but no one can do a thing about! SARS is fast spreading? Tell us how do we differentiate SARS from the normal flu! SARS can be fatal and the flu isn't? Come on! Why tell us we should stay away from crowded places when no one knows exactly how it gets around? Why close schools when adults seem more prone to the bug?

So many questions and so many answers..but every answer just bring forth further questions..so tell me now, where is the cure? Probably a shrug away..

Wo Ai Mo Shen Ren


Just got home from my Holter..the doctor who helped me put on all the wires was really friendly..we had a nice chat while she taped all the wires on..Sure it was all very general like "What are you doing now?" and "Do you have to go back to work later?" but the manner in which it was carried out was very pleasant..nice! =)

Since my days working at Sembawang Music Centre and Music Junction, I always seem to have really good conversations with strangers..which is funny..since i really lack knowledge in general affairs, have no particular interest in clubbing or pubbing or anything cool..Then again, maybe that's why i get along well with strangers..cuz we start at ground zero! After we get past zero, we probably will have nothing else to talk about!

Maybe that's why we always seem to admire and lust for the people we see out on the streets..because we all start on a new sheet of paper and their good looks or their glib tongues hide away all the flaws which we have yet to uncover.. But then, we don't really care during those moments do we? We usually just oogle and stare and think non-stop about them until their faces or voices fade away from our heads.. Well, till then, let us all enjoy their company.. Until we meet our next stranger..

Getting Comfy

War has started in Iraq and one thing really bothers me..lots of Singaporeans remain ignorant to the situation..One moron on TV actually said he was more worried about his stocks and shares!! And i'm pretty certain he is not alone, i'll pretty sure that lots of students are more concerned about their grades..afterall, what happens in Iraq will never happen here right? Well, i guess that's what Americans would have told you before that fateful September 11 as well..

Sometimes i wonder if we are all too comfortable in our lives.. the danger when we are in this comfort mode is, we never ever seem to snap out of it..we always know we have to change, we always know we have to improve, we always seem to know what to do but we almost always end up not moving a muscle.. I know my life is filled with lots of comfort zones i wish to get out of - i need to improve my attitude towards my work, i need to focus more on my part time degree (no use having a degree but with average grades all over!), i need to sort out my feelings in my love life, i need to do a lot of things but needing is not enough, i also need the will to..

Then again, a need is something we require to survive and a want is something we aquire to pamper ourselves with.. I was on the bus the other night and this ran through my head.. I realised that sometimes, "want"s are as important as "need"s.. Just like we wish to be loved by someone who wants to love us..not just because he/she needs to! Life is realy one big contradiction and sometimes we really need to sort out what we want! Comfort zones are always nice but life moves on, life improves..and if we get stuck in our little world too long, we will still be our comfort zones no doubt, but we will also be stuck in the past tense..

Just a few random thoughts from a messed up mind..

For Starters..

Sorted out a few titles for your selection..let me know if you're interested in any through the "comments" or email or sms..Let your friends know as well and if they are interested i'll pass it to them through you -points- Anyway, here are the starting few titles..regarding the price, it's basically "pay as you wish"..else it's free for you to take :)

Lastly, regardless of whether you see the title already taken, please just indicate your interest..i'll try to distribute it out evenly so that not just one person grabs everything away..

cheers!
addy

Moving on..

Now it has really started sinking in..gotta move on..gotta start packing up stuff..gotta start moving my..gosh..CDs! Now everything else in my room is probably easy to move..when compared to the hundreds and i mean hundreds of CDs i have. But i got to start somewhere right? So i'll start by giving away some of my CDs..any takers? Those interested please stay tuned while i compile a list within the next week or two of those CDs i'll be giving away..pay me if you really wish to..

Anyway, just redecorated the place..blue was starting to get a little stale so time for a little greenery! Green is good for the eyes ya know? =P

Somewhere over the rainbow..

So it's been finalisd..A done deal..Another closed chapter..My blue room, my haven for 7 years will be no more..

Yes, there'll be no more chinese new year gatherings here, no more writing of the same address or the home telephone number i've got to know so well..

Happy? No..
Sad? Not really..
More of mixed emotions..

What irks me is the reason given to me..But well, i don't really have a say in this do i? Funny how we humans are never contented..

To those who have never attended a single chinese new year or birthday gathering because "sorry i cannot make it, i promise to come next time", next time sometimes doesn't wait for you my dear friends.. To all the memories - from the time when i was in sec 4 and i had to wake up in the middle of the night to play computer games in my room so that my parents won't nag, to the late nights i kept to irc, to the times my friends fell asleep in my room (What's up with that?!) to tonight when i walk across from the computer room to my own room for bedtime - i say a reluctant good night..

My haven may soon be a haven to someone else but just like i've made my room my own, i will find my haven again somewhere else..

somewhere over the rainbow
sky's are blue
and the dreams that you dared to dream maybe do come true..

When?

It's just 3pm and yet i feel that my weekend has been thoroughly wasted..Spent my saturday stuck in Gombak on duty until this morning..Then i decided not to go for my football training as well which..left me with nothing to do! I never fail to amaze myself with the things i do sometimes..

So what do i do? I think, i ponder and i contemplate and life just isn't so rosy.. I ask when, why and how? and i write a poem on one of them (guess which?!).. But it doesn't really help so i turn on Silje Nergaard's The Waltz to calm myself a little..

You waltzed in and spun my world
Around in dizzy dance i swirled
And suddenly you waltzed away
From me..

in a way it kind of helps..

Days like these..

Just got home from orchard..and guess what came home with me? a $100 worth of CDs! gosh..i hate it when i'm in my moods. So what happened to my "Do i really need it? Will i listen to it 2 weeks from now?" quetions? To hell with them i suppose..hai.. Well, at least with a teeny weeny little bit of control, i didn't exceed 100 bucks..thankfully??

Ed Harcourt - From Every Sphere (Folk-Alternative)
Pearl Jam - Binaural (Grunge)
Carmen Cuesta-Loeb - Dreams (Jazz Vocal)
Gabriela Anders - Wanting (Fusion Jazz)
Dancing Fantasy (Fusion Jazz)

Ok..maybe it's not too bad a mix but well..

I'm speechless and stoned..
Something's got into me..
Walking along alone..
Sympathy won't work for me..
Mobile phone in hand..
But i'm not expecting a call..
Don't try to understand..
You wouldn't at all..
Another mood swing..
Another smile hits the wall..
Feel like crying..
But the tears will not fall..
Looking ahead and through it all..
Faces i cannot recognise..
My thoughts hit the floor..
Yes, sometimes loneliness is nice..

Hmm..can't believe i wrote that impromptu.. Tired now, poetry tires me out too easily these days..