You Won't See Me Cry

you won't see me cry
you know i decided
that i'm gonna pull myself together
and find a way to fight it
even if i have to hide it
you won't see me cry
- Wilson Phillips

There Is Nothing

Have you ever have the feeling when something is just taken away from you? Fullerton is gone..while i didn't exactly have high expectations to get the job, at least there was always a hope, an optimism..but now that i know the result..nothing..

Fullerton HR: I'm sorry to say that you have not been offered the job.

addy: it's ok -smiles-

HR: If we have any suitable positions, you'll be first to know.

addy: that's great! -broad smile-

(after putting down the phone...)

addy: ... ...

Now where do i go? Where do i begin when it doesn't even feel like a beginning? I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere, with a pile of nearly 200 or more (i assume) resumes already sent and basically no responses (except the "sorry" ones), a previous crappy job hindering my progress, a distance learning cert discriminated against and a big bad bunch of NUS and NTU grads breathing down my neck! I'm so lost now (and as ning will say), it's so not funny..

There was something
There was nothing
Just a hope
Not really
There was something
Now, there is nothing

addy (09 may 2006)

Some things are written too soon..now it makes more sense..-sigh-

I Wrote Something

I wrote something
I wrote nothing
Nothing rhymes
Not really
I wrote something
But there is nothing

addy (05 may 2006)

Just something (no pun intended) that came into my head..

Pamdemonium

Went for Pamdemonium last nite with maurice, christine, yingmei and ym's friend (oops! addy forgot people's name again..but it's a chinese name mah..-sulks-)..and it was way cool! I've always admired the way pam oei carried her stage persona so it was interesting to see her being herself (self-declared rock chick!). Though it was mainly her singing with her "explosive" "can band" (with a few corny jokes thrown in for good measure), her energy levels were simply infectious and this got (most of) the crowd alive as well!

The best two parts of the show was when she went into this hilarious indian-accented spoken rendition of "I Will Survive" and "Superwoman"..and when the "can band" (because they anything also "can"..geddit?) all swopped places and the drummer (who is bald) put on a wig to do a mat-rock version of "Smoke On The Water"! The best punchline for me was also delivered during this song when the drummer said "i would like to dedicate this song to..myself and..i hope i like it"!! hahahaha..what the! For $27, this was way worth it! Rock on!

Credits: Picture is taken off Mr Brown's website because i cannot find it on either sistic or esplanade's websites :P

Mummy's (and Daddy's) (Big) Child

I don't usually pick up the newspapers these days. Sure, it seems rather thick (funnily?) recently but election issues don't really interest me..which apparently we're not supposed to blog about lest we use our supernaturally contagious blogging powers to unfairly influence the polling results..so anyway, while walking past the dining table on sunday (the newspapers are placed there, just in case you're wondering what the dining table had to do with anything), the following headline caught my attention:

"No Shame: They Work Yet Still Get Allowances From Parents"

Here are a few rather lovely quotes from the two page article (found on pages 14/15 in the main section of The Sunday Times)..

"Miss Lesley Tan, 24, admits that she could get by on her $2,000 salary as a pupil in a law firm, but says she would be forced to cut down on her shopping..Her parents pay the $340 monthly bill for their daughter parking her car at the Fullerton Hotel and have also funded some of her more extravagant shopping purchases, such as a $3,000 Chanel handbag and a pair of $600 Ferragamo shoes"

Lest you guys are having smug looks on your faces, shaking your heads and remarking "Girls and their shopping"..check out this cool dude!

"Armed with three supplementary credit cards from his mother, (public relations executive, Leonard Tan, 23) indulges his designer tastes at top boutiques like Hugo Boss and DKNY. His mother also covers his mobile phone bills, which can reach up to $600."

And now for the loveliest part..

"All this in spite of him earning $3,300 a month (!!!). "I make it a point to return a token sum to my mother, so she won't think I'm abusing my privileges and to also show that I'm responsible for my spending," he said."

Hey if anyone thinks that miss lesley is a bitch, at least she's an honest one acknowledging that she'd have to make drastic changes without her parents' subsidies..mr leonard tan on the other hand, is in denial mode and seems to have a problem with the english language and with morals in general..now, which part of the word responsible does he not understand? Even if he earns half of his current salary, splurging consistently on branded goods is not responsible..what more earning $3,300 a month and still having his mum pay for his phone bills! And to even regard returning "token sums" as responsible is irresponsible and immatured!

What i cannot understand is how the parents can encourage their children to pursue such material goods..i mean paying for their studies and maybe transportation is still acceptable but for Chanel, DKNY and phone bills even when they are working adults? While the government is concerned about singaporeans' general financial stability, this report brings about a new problem..how about those "kids" who are financially stable (but financially dependent) now? What will happen when they are left on their own and they have to feed their families? Cook their leather shoes and jackets for food? Drink their branded perfumes? Sell their branded stuff on eBay, yahoo or Cash Convertors claiming they have been worn by some local star?

I know this post reeks of jealousy and sour grapes but if you know me well enough, i've worked since my poly days and i've never asked a single cent from my parents to subsidise my phone and cable bills (yes i rejected even though they offered to!), my studies or even my cds! Even when i needed money, i'd get it from my brother so that i know i can return it back to him. In a way, i've been lucky to be where i am today and i can proudly say that i did it mostly on my own..and contrary to most common and conservative beliefs, mine is not down to hardwork..cuz frankly, i am probably one of the laziest people around! If you asked me, i'd say that it was all just determination (and a quite a bit of luck) - and it's more a determination to gain my independence and be answerable to myself rather than to prove anybody right or wrong..

As a parting shot, here's some food for thought..in the above mentioned report, ALL the spoilt brats featured are above 21..and 6th of may isn't that far away now is it?