I'm Lovin' It

I really love my new job!! Even though it's not something i really wanted to do and i'm STILL not used to the hours and i cannot sleep in office and i lunch alone (sometimes), i'm still loving' it (pa da pa pa pa)..maybe it's just the initial phase..maybe when the workload piles up and when people come running to me and when the phone cannot stop ringing, i'll sing a different tune like..who put the weight of the world on my shoulders? Anyway, this new beginning also brings about some endings..I guess i miss a lot of things from last time but in general i miss my ex-colleagues and the nonsense we used to make up together and even though it's been just two weeks, i miss my wednesday footie session (and talking cock to gabriel!)..Other than that, i guess i've been too shagged out these days to think about any other things..Got to really start getting used to it man..

I find myself writing a lot these days..mostly it's just random nonsense which either sound like crap or ARE crap..only a certain group of people have had the "misfortunate" to be tortured by my disasterpieces! hurhur..I'd like to thank all who have been kind enough to share their thoughts, feelings and comments with me regarding the last poem i published..it's really nice to know that "Still In Love With You" managed to connect with so many others and it really serves as motivation for me to keep writing..maybe it's just an easier theme to relate to or maybe the words just clicked..oh well, until i write again! Thank you again and God bless!

Work-Horse

Sorry i haven't been updating again..been totally shagged out since i started work..and it's only been 3 days! -sheepish look- Anyway, it's a 2 month contract thing with Standard Chartered Bank which hopefully will make me MORE marketable! :P New colleagues have been quite nice and the environment is cosy enough..have to get used to the work hours though, considering i've been slacking for nearly 3 months before this!!

On a lighter note, here's something kenneth and i saw the other day..

Feel like you've been acting your socks off with no just reward? Pissed off that Andy Lau's crappy acting has been recognised more than you? Fret not! All that's about to change!!

No more sitting on the edges of your seats while the nominations are being read out!! Buy the ORIGINAL Golden Horse Award (Jin Ma Jiang) from Cash Convertors!! With new enhanced feature of SOUND!! Why settle for a low grade plastic award (without sound somemore!) when you can buy the REAL THANG for just $2.50! Yes just $2.50 and you will be the proud recipient of the Golden Horse Award..ORIGINAL and WITH SOUND! "ACT" NOW! (batteries not included)

Still In Love With You

This poem was written based on the last line which i feel is so ironic and beautiful..It came from a conversation i was having with my friend who was still missing his ex..I didn't know exactly what happened or how he felt but i loved the feeling so much i completed the poem in one take..After i've finished, i showed it to him because in a way it was inspired by our conversation..Was surprised it touched him the way it did..The original version (not included here) was written based on a happy ending (as is my style) but real life often isn't so pretty..The final version you see contains only a slight adjustment but changes the mood of the poem altogether..This one's for all the broken hearted souls..Stay strong!

"still in love with you"

lying awake, i wonder where you are
tucked in bed or in someone else's car
kissing him while he stares starry eyed at you
and you smiling back, like only you can do
i know i shouldn't but i still think of you
you've moved on, i should let go too
we had one chance but that chance has now gone
we could have forced it, but it wouldn't have lasted long
i miss that smell, the scent of your skin
you mesmerised me, the world didn't need a meaning
when i looked in your eyes, nothing else mattered
but now without you, i am shattered
broken and scattered into a million pieces
of memories of hugs and passionate kisses
you're in my thoughts every single second
i smile but it cuts, that we're no longer friends
just a previous aquaintance, that's what i've become
i hold back the tears, my senses go numb
i cannot feel, anything anymore
i cannot love, anyone like i loved you before
it's time to let go, like you have done
"forget me", you said, "i'm not the one"
for it's your wish, that's what i will do
out of love, but still in love with you

addy (10 january 2006)

Copyright AD© All Rights Reserved 2006.

Written for a friend whom i have known since i was 6 and who saw me broke that damn plastic ruler in primary 1 and cried -sheepish look-

The Gentlest Sigh

Written for a friend who was feeling down..It's a little choppy in places but i loved the idea that a "gentle sigh" no matter how soft, can hide so much and speak so much louder than words..

"the gentlest sigh"

hello my friend, why that look in your eyes?
the one that does not speak a word, letting out only reluctant sighs
sighing ever so gently
like trouble looming beneath an otherwise calm looking sea
you keep it hidden
no one would know how your spirit was broken
you decided, there was no point admitting it
you need some care but you deny it
who can cure a friendship gone wrong?
who can bring back a lover, now gone?
who can uncover the mistrust
or reveal the secrets underneath all those masks?
God can, but God now seems so far away
i am here, but you said that you'd be okay
you just need some time to think it through
a little time to let the wounds heal
now you just feel not good enough
you want to be loved but you feel not worthy enough
now you feel too weak
to face the world and all its dirty tricks
"i'm okay", you reassured me again
"i'll get used to it, soon there'll be no pain"
you turned away and i wondered if you'll be fine
it was unmistakable
above the busy traffic, the gentlest sigh

addy (7th december 2005)

Copyright AD© All Rights Reserved 2005.

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It's been raining for days..gloomy..just suited to my mood these days..waiting for the sunshine again..

Happy (Belated) Birthday To An Old Friend!

Organising a gathering just isn't my thing..it is super HARD work (which comes with no perks, benefits or salary!)..

Things invitees do not experience:
- Out of maybe 20 sms-es sent out, usually only around half reply (the other half always somehow has changed handphone numbers, forgot, need to save on 5 cents, can't be bothered or don't reply to unfamiliar numbers!)

- Out of the approximate 10 replies, a quater may ask "who else is going?" (which can mean "if -someone- is going, count me out")

And as if those are not enough..on the day itself, somehow there'll be one or two "technical glitches" like last minute cancellations or forgetfulness etc etc..Certain situations really cannot be helped like family problems or sickness (I mean, who WANTS to be sick rite?)..However, some other excuses can really hit you where it hurts BUT..still as an organiser, you just have to grit your teeth and let the show go on!

If you're fun-loving, enjoy meeting people and getting a group of people together is your thing, there is a ready vacancy for "#tkgs Alumni Planning Executive" (or gathering organiser)! Please submit your applications to adiot@tkgschannel.com or immortals@tkgschannel.com

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That said, kenneth's birthday gathering was quite a success..given that we basically did nothing the whole evening (nearly 5 hours) but eat and talk! The turnout was probably one of the healthiest in recent memory - 11 pax! - including a special guest appearance by sam! It was fun..I mean how often do you get to see gaius and kenneth struggle with their pizzas or see chris get bombarded about his "obsession" or even roland poking fun at someone (raymond no less! channel mode -ray anyone?) or get headbutted on the shoulder by tzemin (not that i enjoyed that!) or see sam and i in another one of our "suggestive" poses! Hardly ever these days..

I can totally understand why gaius and kenneth have been trying their best to organise more of such outings but the reality is that life has changed and lives have moved on..where it may have been once "hip" to be out in a big group, others now have other commitments to keep and other groups to hang out with..Well, even if this outing is one of the last which we have as such a group, at least we went out with a BANG..thanks to the one who started it all back in the good old irc days! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KENNETH! Cheers!

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For more birthday accounts, check out jinxy's blog (with full coloured pictures!) and gaius' blog

Charity?

When strangers approach you for money, do you usually give it to them? I mean, there ARE people who are really in need of it and are driven to desperation to simply ask for it..But that said, there are others who ask more in hope than in desperation..So how do you separate the genuine cases from the "fakes"? Let's see how addy copes in such situations..

Scenario 1:
Just today i met this man who came up to me and told me a very unlikely story..Apparently, he boarded a wrong bus (conveniently the Express service) from jurong, ended up near my house - which conveniently is FAR from jurong and had no money to get back to jurong..

addy's reaction:
Now, the reason one takes a bus is to get to another place to do something so logically speaking, you'd come out with either an EZLink card or at least a little cash on you..Secondly, if you've boarded the wrong bus, instincts will tell you to alight immediately and not when you've reached the other end of the island! so addy's verdict is "No!"

Scenario 2:
Was on my way home from McDonald's near my house (again!) when this girl approached me for $1 to get herself a drink..she wore an earpiece and was carrying a plastic bag with a bottle of Pringles..$1 was a small sum so i didn't mind giving it to her so i asked her where did she stay..and it turned out only a few blocks away..

addy's reacion:
Firstly, if you could buy a bottle of Pringles (for $2+) why couldn't you get yourself a drink? Or if you came out with a limited amount of cash, settle for some less expensive potato chips and get a drink! The second thing was that she stayed nearby, why couldn't she go home and get the money or get a drink when she reached home? addy's verdict, "No!"

Scenario 3:
Was at East Coast Park one day when this man came up to me and asked for $2.

addy's reaction:
I just gave it to him..

So why did i react the way i did in the third case? God only knows..but there are lots of such people around and it's not always possible to differentiate the fakers..Rather, it's more up to one's judgement and good nature to decide whether or not to part money to that stranger however big or small the amount..

Note: All scenarios are based on real life experiences..Any similarities to anyone is purely coincidental..Exact names and races have been withheld to prevent any racial discord and/ or political implications..Thank you!