7 year itch

i know this sounds defensive..lots of you will question if the lack of blog entries recently is due to excessive paktoring..honestly, i don't know where you guys (those who think that way at least) get such incredulous ideas but i have to say that that is almost true! :P mostly i have been just lazy about it..i have lots of things to say and lots of stories to share but not so lots of energy. yep, it sounds like a lame excuse and make no mistake about it, it is!

19 january 2008, saturday
this date was significant for two reasons - 1) it was jay chou's concert (please picture that without making me look/sound like a starstruck schoolgirl..maybe a schoolboy but most definitely not a schoolgirl!) and 2) it has been 7 years since karen and first got together.



given that we did not have the best view in the house, we (aileen, apple (leen's friend), karen, kenneth and i) still had a rocking good time at the concert; singing, jumping and waving our hands along to every song, from the newest to the older ones..and ok, i admit, we did that starstruck schoolgirl/schoolboy thing of agreeing to everything jay said..you know when he goes "are you having fun? (in chinese of course)", we go "yeeeesss! (in chinese also)"..but in defense, what was i to do right? it was between being in agreement or risk being hammered by the throngs of jay chou fans!

now regarding the other part about the 7 years, you do the maths..ok we cheated a bit on that 1.5 years when we were apart but then you know what they say "love is never fair game!"..and we are still very much in love! :)

english..taught by auntie bk

was at burger king having my lunch on new year's eve and i overheard (well, not exactly overheard since they were talking rather loudly and even if i tried not to, i'd still hear them quite clearly!) two aunties' conversation..auntie 1 was lamenting to auntie 2 about her son being taught by a chinese (from china) teacher..

auntie 1: wah..my son's china teacher ar..i tell you damn ploblem ar..everything also call..say my son never do his homework ar blaaah blaah blah blah blah.. (i am not making this up by the way, she really went "blaaah blaah blah blah blah" and the way she said it was damn amusing! but that's not the best part yet..)..most of the time i cannot understand her..she is from beijing la..her engrish ar is damn bad!

when i heard that last bit, my sprite nearly forced its way out of my mouth! i know i am mean but come on, admit it, you laughed too when you read that! what? not even a snigger? or a smile? liar! there are more to that conversation but i shall not type a longwinded post on primary 5 streaming and secondary school choices in my first post of 2008!

anyway,
HAPPYNEWYEAR
to one and all!

The National Sprinter

there are constant reports of singapore being short of sporting talent to compete at olympics level and about how singaporeans are overly obsessed with academic and career achievements that they do not see sports as a career. on both counts, i beg to differ. firstly, singaporeans are not overly obsessed with academic and career achievements! yep, you saw that right. singaporeans are not overly obsessed with academic and career achievements! (repeated in bold just so that you would stop rubbing your eyes and rereading the previous line!) in fact, all singaporeans are guilty of, is being too obedient.

people tell us don't litter (or they will hit you with a fine of $1000, present you a nice shiny yellow bib on your first day of (corrective) work and if they are in the mood, even throw in a short jail term as a bonus), we don't litter. just like that, no questions asked. people say they help you manage your cannot profit finances (or you may end up with nothing left for your retirement or in a worst case scenario die without a coffin and either way you don't really have a choice!), we let them manage our cannot profit finances. just like that, we don't even ask what are the interest rates like or "can grow or not?"! which part of cannot profit finances don't you understand? still grow simi! go get an education! and so we go get an education which leads to a higher education which leads to a job which leads to a career which leads to retirement which leads to us finally being able to access our cannot profit finances (profits sold separately). sports? well, teacher always say "don't play so much. wait ball hit your head become stupid!".

on the other hand, our lack of "talented" sportspeople may just be down to lousy scouting. maybe they are just not looking in the right places! the common saying is that we need to develop our sportsmen and women from young. but then, aren't most singaporean kids these days sent for piano, ballet and poetry classes from young? and look how many world renown pianists, ballerinas or poets we have? the closest i can think of is vanessa mae, the famous violin player but even she is "imported"!

so i determine that it is all a matter of psychology and context. it does not matter where you are born or how young or old you pick up a sport. all you need is a certain trigger and a new sporting sensation is born. in simple terms, it's all about mindset and what tempts the mind most. based on that, you set the perfect environment.

need a national sprinter to break the world record faster than marion jones can gulp down her steroids? don't go looking in schools or stadiums or sports clubs! just take a walk to the bus stop during peak hours! there, you will see all of singapore's sprinting talents in their full glory! no matter how impossibly faraway they seem from the bus, next thing you know they are on it! like i said, all it needs is a certain trigger, in this case, the bus. the singapore sports council should collaborate with sbs for this sprint project. singapore will be so spoilt for choice we may have to send in three sprint teams to compete - singapore, temasek and raffles city!

how about hurdles? smrt will solve that one for you! how many times do we see people leaping up stairs 2 or 3 at a time, get on the platform and leap into the trains just before the doors close?

or darts? well, our singapore team can do without hands and still thrash the opponents hands down (pardon the pun). just gather a group of uncles, put the darts in their mouths and watch them spit it out! what about china you ask (that country of renown spitters)? well, they are nowhere near our uncles! singaporean uncles aim before they spit (if not kenna caught by police!), china people anyhow spit!

there are many other scouting grounds unexplored by the singapore sports council and so many untapped talents roaming the streets waiting to be picked up (if they don't get on the bus before you get to them!). who says singapore has no talent? i get uncle to spit at you ar!

ultimate compliment

today, my vendor told me that she liked the advertisement i designed so much she put it up on her office wall for display! i was like "wah!" (luckily there is this thing called gravity! :P)..but of course i did not "wah!" in front of her la..that's like so rude right?

what i actually did was say "thank you", smile and asked her if she wanted an autograph copy!

x-men: the advanced generation

the secret has been hidden for ages..not even the creators of the x-men series or for that matter, professor x are aware of it. a new breed of x-men and x-women have surfaced, surviving outside the comic strips, blending into normal human society. yes, it's true..these "mutants" have been spotted utilising their special powers to do extraordinary things! the only way to recognise them is through their powers, some of which hold certain resemblance to the original x-men's. their new hideout is hidden under the guise of a lower class bustling work area that's none other than..tanjong pagar!

while there is no possible way of identifying every single species of these mutants living among us, here are the more common and easily recognisable ones...

powers similar to:
"cyclops"
most commonly spotted:
inside lifts
(localised) code name:
"cy(ber)-cocks"

this variation of cyclops is certainly more powerful than the original..not only does cy-cocks not require that fancy looking goggle to keep "its" powers under control, "it" fires "its" rays without you even seeing the rays! "it" is usually found right at the front of the building lifts.

how do you identify it?:
wait till the lift doors are nearly closing, then rush in..when you're inside after barely escaping the closing lift doors, turn to the right or left (whichever applicable)..there "it" will be..arms folded (or sometimes by the side), intently firing "its" rays at the "open" button just so that you do not get squashed by the doors! there are times when i felt that "it" should act faster and i stare at "it" to show my displeasure but then i realise that i will never win..if "it" stares back at me, i am finished!

powers similar to:
"jean grey"
most commonly spotted:
during extremely sunny or rainy weather
(localised) code name:
"jin gray" (hokkien for really or extremely gray)

compared to the original jean grey, jin gray is definitely less powerful..not only does "it" require a weapon, "it" depends highly on seasonal weather changes to utilise "its" powers (see "most commonly spotted").

how do you identify it?:
during really sunny or rainy days, as you are walking..suddenly "it" will whip out "its" weapon (usually disguised as an umbrella) and cast a force-field around "itself" sending people scurrying out of "its" way! i am to believe "it" has trained to a certain level that "its" force-field is able to hold off an entire building should the building collapse..just look at the number of force-fields being cast indoors these days and you will know what i mean..we humans are not so easily fooled, surely a normal umbrella cannot withstand the weight of an entire building right?

powers similar to:
"gambit"
most commonly spotted:
during lunch hour
(localised) code name:
"can't beat"

this is the most common and as its localised name implies, also one powerful breed of mutant during the peak of "its" powers..possessing trades very similar to the original gambit. however, due to singapore's legislation on gambling in public and needing to keep a low profile, instead of playing cards, can't beat's weapons of choice are "its" tissue packs! just like gambit, can't beat's powers though impressive are extremely limited.

how do you identify it?:
the story behind "its" name comes from the way "it" attacks..i am sure many of us have fallen victim to "its" attacks before! during lunch hour, have you ever approached a table (with no one even remotely near you) and next thing you know..you get hit by a tissue pack thrown by can't beat! and that's why "it" is named that because "it" always seems to beat you to a table no matter how faraway "it" is..and if you think all "it" does is throw tissue packs around, try removing one of "its" tissue packs and watch "it" explode in your face! apparently, this strain is highly contagious and infects anyone who comes in contact with "its" tissue..thus explaining how even most normal humans are coming to master this skill!

now if you see any of the above mutants around, do not panic, stay calm..they are mostly harmless unless provoked! last i heard, a higher class breed of x-men and x-women have been spotted in raffles place!