;)

hey dear, maybe you stopped writing not because you are uninspired; rather 'cause you are HAPPY! :)

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Why It’s Harder To Write When You’re Happy
Oct. 3, 2011

By Kat George info

It’s easy to write when you’re riddled with angst, when you have so many feelings and so many feelings about those feelings you’re consumed by a maddening confusion. It’s easy when you can wax lyrical about disappointment and heartbreak; when you’re overflowing with emotional things to say; when all you want to do is drink whiskey and smoke cigarettes and channel your inner Hunter S. Thompson. It’s easy when you can lay everything out in terms of “existential” and “crisis” and “woe is me!”

But it’s not so easy to write when you’re happy. Not because you have less feelings or feelings about those feelings, or because your happy feelings are any less worthy of being written about than your sad feelings, but simply because being happy makes you want to do rather than respond. Being happy makes you want to go out and enjoy your happiness — there’s just no incentive for you to be crouching in half darkness over your notebook or laptop, muttering sinisterly and chain smoking for days on end without showering when you’re happy. Not that I’ve ever done any of that, I mean, I totally shower every day and stuff.

When you’re sad, one of your first instincts will often be analysis — why do I feel this way? What is actually happening here? How can I make myself feel better? Why doesn’t he/ she like me? Why can’t I get that dream job? Why did my father abandon me? OMG DO YOU ACTUALLY EXPECT ME TO GO TO THE SHOP TO BUY MORE ICE CREAM IN THIS STATE I’M IN? And in turn this analysis becomes your fingers tap-tap-tapping on the keyboard, which by and by becomes some sweet cash in your bank account.

Writing about bad feelings is also cathartic, in so far as getting shit off your chest (no matter how petty) is as therapeutic as it is self-indulgent. Moreover, going back and reading your emotional rants can often lead you to see JUST HOW SILLY YOU ARE BEING. You also get lots of sympathy from people who feel the same way, which makes you feel less alone and totally justified in your frivolous emotions. Moreover, you are passionate in these moments, foolhardy and reckless with your words and as a result you can be powerful and poetic to the point where you and others think WOW THAT’S POIGNANT.

When you’re happy: you don’t care why. You just are and it’s fabulous and you want to indulge it by running outside in fields of wildflowers, holding hands with your lover and throwing puppy dogs over rainbows. You want to prance through streets being overly nice to bank tellers and deli guys and spewing out meters and meters of colored scarves to make the neighborhood children laugh with delight. Maybe you’ll even make them some balloon animals.

Whatever it is that’s making you happy, you just want to enjoy it — you certainly don’t want to hole yourself up in a dank, windowless room writing moving things about your feelings, you want to be out FEELING THEM. You don’t want to talk; you want to do. You don’t want to reflect; you want to be. So it’s harder, much harder, to write when you’re happy. You know people want to read about your happiness, that yes, people will relate, just as they relate to your sadness. And you know that when you’re happy, you’ll rush through whatever it is you’re writing anyway, because you just want to thrust open a window looking down over a busy street and sing out to the crowd before you race down into the throng to embrace whatever it is that is making you so deliriously, distractingly, overwhelmingly happy.

Un-written

It's been such a long time since I wrote..other than work emails.

I had wanted to be a writer, and even contemplated a career in Public Relations. Then the poetry stopped, the blogging stopped, and the passion for writing just stopped.

How did that happen? When?

Hmmm.

popping by!

hello dear,

guess you'll have a shock when you see this.
but ANW.

hopefully a new (refreshing) blog template will motivate you to blog again.
HAHA. (it's Blogger's template btw. tried changing your layout to other pretty layouts but it became so ME, and so unlike you LOL!)

p.s. you may delete this after reading!
sorry to have "vandalised" on your blog. =P

Less Communication, Just Do It!

After more than 3 years in the marketing and communications field, I am sick and tired of it. I joined the field to pursue an interest, a passion, a purpose to make a difference. But my experiences at PA and then now at NHG have really woken me up. There is no passion to be pursued and there is definitely no purpose (if there was, then I have lost it).

What there is, is just work. The only communication you get ironically in this field are instructions and more instructions. Communications is defined as an exchange of information, so that in whatever we do, we connect with the right audience, through the right channels. The sad thing is, not only is there a lack of communication in this field, even instructions are not given clearly by communication specialists! It seems like most people are in this line because, they just need a salary. This has led to all the do-ers who did their best heading marketing and communications teams. To them, getting it done is first and foremost, communications come second, if at all.

Perhaps I am too idealistic in my thinking, but I am disappointed. I can barely tell the difference between my job in communications and that of a cleaner. Both needs things to be done in a certain time. Both requires hands to get dirty and to clear up other people's dirty dishes (albeit in different ways). I really do not see my life continuing like this.

All this while, I have changed jobs, for the sake of getting out of one just to get into another. I think it is time for a proper break, take a step back, clear out my system and mindset, and evaluate what I really want. Then begin afresh, refreshed with a passion and with a purpose to make a difference.

2010...19 days on

I have...

...started typing using proper casing in my blog posts and tweets (omg, when did that happen!).

...completed 2 football matches in the last 2 weeks. Really nice to finally get back on the field again after more than a year...slowly working myself back into fitness. Also heard from Minjie that we may take part in the Church League again!

...sung with the Trinity choir for their Christmas and Watchnight services. Even though I missed out on the New Year's Eve fireworks, the choir created our own "fireworks" during the Watchnight service and it was really such a blessed experience to have served with them.

...thought about changing my blog skin. Any volunteers? :P

There are other stuff on my mind and that have happened over the last 19 days of course. But I guess, as insignificant as they seem, these things just happen to be at the top of my mind (not in terms of priorities).